Thursday, June 25, 2009

What's it like to be so HOT, Ayelet?

"What's it like to always be thinking, 'I'm a hot girl, every guy who sees me thinks I'm so hot'?" asked ET. We were hanging out over pizza last night.

"Truthfully, I have no idea," I said. "I never think like that."

Lest some of you think that my friendship with ET is just an emotional train wreck waiting to happen, I should tell you that I've determined what his role in my life is destined to be. His tikkun, if you will.

Not my husband -- as I said before, I can't keep up with the Energizer bunny on crack. He also has several annoying habits. The worst is his absolute need to analyze absolutely everything, minute by minute. He picked me up from work and as we sat in rush-hour traffic, he mused, "Thirty seconds to drive half a block... I can explain to you why insurance companies don't want to cover mental health treatment... I've seen you about 14 times since we met..."

Those quotes are taken out of context, but they characterize the reductive tone of his discourse. It can get quite irritating. Which I mentioned.

"You should get a cattle prod and shock me every time I start analyzing something," he said cheerfully. Don't tempt me, dude; you'll end up with a heart attack or Taser burns.

Anyway, I've decided that ET's job is to make me feel really good about the way I look, so I'll be more confident and comfortable and in a better frame of mind to meet men. Men like confidence. They don't like needy, insecure women who crave constant reassurance.

The more time I spend with ET, the more I hear, "You're so beautiful... Your feet are beautiful... You have such beautiful hair... I don't know why, but you're so much more beautiful in person than in photos. Why is that?... All the guys I know who know you think you're beautiful."

"That's not true," I said. "Jefferson doesn't."

"Jefferson's like me," ET said. "He thinks you're beautiful, but he doesn't think you're romantically compatible, for whatever reasons, so he doesn't want to lead you on."

I could frame this as, "Ayelet is beautiful but has a really bad personality, so that despite her beauty, men run from her." Or, I could think that I'm pretty enough to please anyone, and I just have to find the right one.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

2 comments:

  1. so funny! I really got a kick out of this post! Thanks Ayelet!

    Tsipora from Tel Aviv

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  2. Lovin it, girl. Get high on a little well-deserved admiration, don't get involved but get some fun flirty feelings out of this, you DESERVE a little puppyish adoration. You deserve to feel great about yourself. Enjoy.

    --S

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