Sunday, July 19, 2009

The life of the bed & breakfast

The gay go-go dancing was postponed because Minka's sister, Dvori, wasn't feeling well on Thursday. But they had made plans to go to a kosher bed & breakfast in the Catskills for Shabbos with their friend Shevy, and invited me to join them.

It was a really fun weekend. Shevy is down-to-earth, almost exactly my age, and has almost as cynical a view of dating and matchmakers as I do. I felt comfortable talking to her, which is good because we were sharing a room.

The other guests were a young married couple, an older married couple, and a very shy single guy who was there to leyn. The B&B host belongs to my shul in the city, but now spends most of his weekends in the country. It was like visiting a really good host; we ate family-style, good plain Jewish food like pot roast and cholent.

For some reason I reacted badly to the food; I'll spare you the details, but I spent a lot of time in the bathroom, and even today I'm nauseated. The other guests seem fine, so I'm hoping the gastric discomfort isn't internalized anxiety.

I was a little nervous about spending Shabbat with a bunch of people I didn't know well at a time when I fear I'm becoming a little manic. I've had mortifying experiences where my behavior escalated from funny to beyond inappropriate, and I felt unable to rein myself in.

But apparently I was the life of the Shabbos. I kept everyone in stitches, telling them about being curbsided by Adam Hashakran, Ziva Kramer's bait-and-switch, going to the ER on Yom Kippur (I told them I fainted, not that I had a seizure), my 18-minute date with HealthNut, and several other misadventures.

As I was saying goodbye to the older married woman, she grasped my hand and said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I said, bewildered. "For what?"

"You made Shabbos so much fun," she said. "You have such a sunny personality."

I'm not used to thinking of myself as "sunny." I'm usually morose, occasionally manic. Have I finally found a balance?
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. Don't be scared to be ok. :)