Saturday, July 04, 2009

Little lies

While talking with the Other Survivor (OS), he mentioned taking part in some big feminist march in 1975.

"Don't you remember it?" he asked me.

"I was 5," I said. "I don't remember it. How old were you?"

"I was 11," he said.

I realized, while thinking about our conversation over Shabbos, that if he was 11 in 1975, he is now 45. Not a bad age, but he and his matchmaker initially told me he was 42.

I don't lie about my age. I could, easily; today at a potluck lunch, I met a woman who graduated five years after I did from the same university, and she thought I was younger than she is. "Relentlessly good skincare," I told her. "Sunscreen every morning, retinol serum every night, and undereye treatment." She forgot my name when she wanted to introduce me to someone else, because, as she put it, "I look at you and I think, 'Miss Radiant Skin.'" Quite poetic for a nephrologist.

So I have little tolerance for people who do lie about their age. But part of me wonders if I'm just trying to find something wrong with OS because I know he had cancer and lied about his age.

At lunch today I tried not to feel invisible, or to not mind feeling invisible, as other people talked around me. I really don't understand why ET thinks I'm so hot. None of the men who were there gave me the time of day.

It must have showed in my expression. "What are you thinking, Ayelet?" asked the nephrologist as we were helping clean up.

"Do you really want to hear?" I asked. She nodded. "I'm wondering why there are so many men and women here, and they're not connecting." Actually, I was really wondering why none of the men were connecting with me, but I didn't want to say that.

"Which one do you want to connect with?" asked a brash Australian lass, stacking dirty plates. I laughed and demurred. There was a few I kind of liked, actually, but they could not have been less interested in me, judging by their lack of eye contact and failure to engage me in conversation. I didn't want to tell her I liked them only to get officially shot down.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. If he lied about his age, he'll lie about other things. But there are worse things in the world. Maybe his other virtues will be more valuable. On the other hand, if he was shlepped to a feminist rally at age 11 he was probably screwed up by his mother and has lots of complicated mental problems. But at least he's open about his sordid past. Try this, tell him you lied about your age and see if he fesses up. Tell him you're really 40.

  2. Are you sure he lied about his age, not the shadchan?

  3. Agree with From the Trenches. Shadchanim are notorious fucking liars. He might not have lied at all.


  4. I can't remember if he said anything about his age being 42 or if it was just from the spreadsheet. It's definitely possible that the shadchanit lied; I'm quite disillusioned with them as a group ;) I'll ask him next time we speak.

  5. You know, I have this experience a LOT and I know I look great for my age. Heck, I look great, period. I'm ignored at singles events too, for the most part. And you want to know why people are not connecting? It's because the males do not know how to connect. What they know how to connect is their eyes to the nearest piece of ass who's 10+ years younger. Fuck that.

    On the plus side, sounds like you have fabulous skin? :) Always nice to hear from people that you look good, regardless of context.