Friday, July 10, 2009

Of course, I *could* be manic, not just content with my lot in life

My knees hurt in a different way from how they usually hurt, because of the fall I took yesterday. I don't care; I'm lounging around the house watching fun movie musicals like "Chicago" and "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes." And shopping for the vacation I'm taking this summer -- a cruise to Alaska.

So far, I have bought two pairs of shoes I can hike in, because I didn't have any athletic shoes. When I exercise-walk I wear my FitFlops, but those won't get me up the side of a glacier. And I'll need to wear them on alternate days, because they'll probably get wet and will need to dry out.

I also bought three other pairs of shoes -- white, red, and brown -- because all of my old summer shoes are falling apart. Literally; I was walking from the reception area to my office last week, and my brown sandals flew apart into three pieces. The clients were greatly amused. I'm just lucky I didn't break an ankle.

I got a fleece jacket, lighter and warmer than sweatshirts. Three bathing suits, since the cruise ship has pools and hot tubs, and I only have one old suit and it's much too small. A digital camera, since my old one isn't compatible with my new-ish (2005) computer, and a 4 GB memory card. Industrial-strength bug spray and sunscreen, and after-bite gel. A pair of cropped jeans to hike in. And, because my apartment is so disorganized, I just had to buy a necklace holder, because my jewelry wardrobe was too crowded and my necklaces were getting all tangled.

The question has to arise: am I becoming manic? Because I'm happy, and I'm shopping. Some of the shopping happens when I wake up early and can't get back to sleep. In the winter, I'd consider it a symptom of terminal insomnia. But sleeplessness can also be a symptom of mania. I also think I must be giving off some kind of sexual vibe, because why else would so many 20somethings be falling at my feet? Hypersexuality -- another symptom of mania.

Friends who interact with me in real life have my official permission to watch me closely and tell me if they think I'm spinning out of control. I'm seeing Dr. R next Thursday, so we could always up my lithium dosage.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Yesterday you said you were content with your life. I don't think that's manic. Your looking at the glass half or as u said, 3/4 full. I am sooo happy you are content with yourself b/c you'll be less depressed and more productive. And it's not manic to be happy going on a cruise. You are suppose to be happy. If you weren't, then it's time for Dr. Roda to increase the Lithium. You need to shop, too. However, it's possible that so much shopping is a manic sign. I know I hate shopping, but once I'm out, I don't stop til I'm done, partly cause i don't know when I'm coming back. The sleeplessness I'd venture is, too. I also noticed at your party you looked a little bit nervous. Nevertheless, you've been promoted recently and are going on a cruise I can only dream of going. I'd say you much to be happy about, and that couldn't be more normal.

  2. You sound good, you sound happy and healthy. Stop questioning it so deeply. Let yourself be okay.


  3. I would tend to agree with the other commenters - and it's also possible that the sunshine we haven't had for 4 weeks is improving your mood, too. Definitely worth being mindful, but I still would enjoy the salubrious effects of the weather and the anticipation of an awesome trip!

  4. HAPPY? CONTENT? Sure sounds suspicious! Don't ask questions. Enjoy, while it lasts!