Monday, September 28, 2009

How was your fast, Ayelet?

Fasting isn't very difficult when you spend most of the day in bed. After my seizure -- the first but not last chagim-related trip to the ER -- I get to skip most other fast days and spend Yom Kippur at home. Which I primarily do in bed. I was kind of uncomfortable -- feverish, sore throat, swollen glands -- but I wasn't talking or walking around, so it was bearable.

Theoretically I could daven from the Yom Kippur machzor. Read over some of the highlights. But davening has never been one of my strong suits. So I spent the day either reading, dozing, or praying for my friends.

I didn't bother praying for myself. I decided long ago that my prayers for myself are neither heard nor heeded. But I did try to think of everyboy I know and care about who needs at least a few prayers. I didn't think Gd would be so vindictive as to curse the people I prayed for.

It was kind of difficult, because of course I didn't have my computer on, and I tend to keep track of my friends on the computer, either on Facebook or on my email contacts lists. But I think I remembered most of them. And I hope they get everything they need and much more than they deserve, because my friends are good people. They must be -- they put up with me.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

6 comments:

  1. I hope you feel better soon! If it is strep you will feel better very quickly after starting antibiotics. So try not to fret.

    I thought a lot about you today. I hope this is a wonderful year for you, in which you get all you deserve and then some!

    BTW I can relate to your struggles with prayer. There's a great essay on the topic in the intro to the new Koren siddur by British Chief Rabbi Sacks. Remind me to show it to you next time you visit. Riva

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  2. Hi Ayelet,

    At Neilah each of the men passed before the open Aron Kodesh for a moment and I prayed for all of my friends who needed a refuah shlaima.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    -Rafi

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  3. reverse your belief about prayer and you! Belief is a constant prayer of the heart - ponder this and the mechanism - aaron

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  4. Thanks so much, Riva and Rafi. I need all the prayers I can get!

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  5. Honey, your prayers are heard. We just can't order up a good year with fries on the side. It comes as it comes. I hope it's a wonderful, beautiful, healthy, happy, productive year for you, in every way.

    --S

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  6. I go to a synagogue, I say yahrzeit and I then leave. I did not fast this year, but I was quite aware of it being Yom Kippur. Thank G-D it's over, the guilt is slowly dissipating, can't wait till next year. More holidays are coming up, more guilt and then I'm free till passover.

    I wish there was a religion just for being Jewish, without all the guilt.

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