Thursday, September 24, 2009

Icebreakers don't work

Yesterday I got about 30 minutes of exercise -- walked to and from a subway station that's about 15 minutes from my apartment. But I woke up this morning at 3 a.m. with a headache. Changing weather is bad for the sinuses, I guess. Also seems that oversleeping on Rosh Hashana isn't giving me a sleepy year.

Frumster has a new feature called "Icebreakers." Pre-written messages you can send as an initial contact. I sent out two of them two days ago, and haven't heard from either guy.

The first, aged 42, describes himself as:

[I am sure there will be edits here]
I am an interesting mix of things from my life experiences. I grew up with enough of a Jewish foundation that my time in Israel just cemented things and I slowly moved towards being more observant.

I am a loyal friend, an honest person, a romantic and very affectionate. I really do try to live as a Mensch. I like to help others and make them feel better with kind words and do, help the elderly cross parking lots or return thier grocery carts and have been know to help change a few tires.

My Grandmother B"H, still with us at 102, has always been a bright light in my life and a role model. I have a good sense of humor (maybe a little odd and definately goofy) but still good, and enjoy good conversation and intellectual discourse. I
like tons of music and movies and am pretty knowledgeable about art and architecture. I am also a student of history and when I have time, I love to read, but I also enjoy (on occasion -not weekly) watching motorsports, hockey, and baseball.

I am an outdoor guy but can hold my own in the city.

He sounds nice. What kind of girl does he want?

The obvious is attraction but a beautiful inside is just as important. Hopefully she really is an Eishet Hayil (So I don't have to sing the song just to hear my own semi off-key singing voice) A person who is interested in knowing their mate as a friend and is as straight up as possible.

Unconditional acceptance and love must be a two way street and believeing that a person can be changed is not terribly realistic.

Someone who likes to have fun and isn't averse to trying new things and adventures and isn't overly serious (and of course there are times for both).

Who enjoys having social interaction (hosting meals for example with a helper of course) and isn't overly quiet but maybe a little more on the extroverted side than myself, as I have seen balance always helps relationship.

Sounds like me, right? So I sent him an Icebreaker:

You passed my screening test with flying colors. E-mail me to find out your exact score.

I thought that was cute. No response.

The second guy, also 42, has this to say:

I would describe myself as someone who cares about all facets of his personality, the mental, physical and spiritual. I am someone who is looking for the person who enjoys the often ignored pleasures that life has to offer, such as the museums and plays of New York. I enjoy good conversation yet sometimes after a long day like to spend time with a good book or on a good run. I am a professional and the father of several children.

Sounds nice. Who is he looking for?

I am looking for a nice, caring person who is shomer mitzvot but also recognizes the secular world has many appealing, torah observant positive aspects. I am looking for a woman who can/is/will be a great mother. I believe I would find myself most compatible with someone who recognized companionship could mean many, many different things, from long, intense conversations to, after a long day at work, just reading a book next to that one particular person.

Sounds like Ayelet. Sent him the same icebreaker, no response.

Still haven't heard from the Frum Player, who has my phone number. Not really a surprise.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. They may have wanted a personalized response. Maybe just pick out a couple of the things mentioned and comment how you felt you were compatible.

  2. Completely agree with KWG.

    Both sound VERY nice and if you don't want them, I'll email them. ;)


  3. They're not very nice if they didn't respond to the icebreakers AT ALL, S. ;)