Friday, September 11, 2009

Sour grapes

Ozer's cute roommate Jefferson, wholly immune to my charms -- apparently he really is a psychologist -- has become Ozer's incredibly pretentious roommate Jefferson. I think this is mainly because I know he's not interested in me and I feel rejected, but there may be a sliver of validity to my opinion.

For example, Jefferson has started updating his status with pithy quotes from the likes of C. S. Lewis, Anne Frank, MLK, Mark Twain, Joan Didion, Jean Vanier (who? yeah, I've never heard of him either), and Sir Francis Bacon. I find that... well, pretentious. I get it, Jefferson, you're an in-tel-LEC-tual, but isn't that a wee bit overmuch? Did you get a Bartlett's Familiar Quotations on sale at The Strand?

Anyway, this evening Jefferson posted a simple, "Good Shabbos" and I commented:

who are you quoting this time? ;)

I thought he'd ignore it; CBT psychologists don't reinforce behavior they want to extinguish. Instead, he demonstrated that, in-tel-LEC-tual or not, he maintains a sense of humor:

I learned it from watching you... which reminds me of my favorite PSA of all time...

Has Jefferson forgotten I'm a drug counselor?

I taught you how to smoke pot? Please don't tell my boss.

I'm kind of wondering why I'm so tempting to people 10 or more years my junior -- RSX, ET, the very small entomologist, and the 24-year-old who thought ET was "older than us" -- and so repulsive to people closer to my age. One of my "Ayelet" Facebook friends suggested I friend her friend (can I cram a few more "friend"s in that sentence?) Dani, who is 18 years younger than I am. Sure, whatever, I want more blog readers, so I did. He emailed me:

i don't know you, guess you don't know me too, but glad to be your friend! hope you will enjoy me! all the best, happy new year!

"Enjoy me"? Enthusiastic little bugger.

Shaina Bracha suggested you as a friend for me, and any friend of hers is a friend of mine ;) shana tova, shabbat shalom

I figured that would be that. It wasn't.
sounds good! ok, enjoy! shabbath shalom! have me in mind if you're in israel!

Does that mean I can hang out with him if I go back to Israel?

I'm in NYC, but if I go to Israel again I'll let u know

Apparently not.

you don't have to let me know because i'm also in NYC i live in williamsburg! where in brooklyn do you live?

Not everybody who doesn't live in Israel lives in Brooklyn. (Does that sentence make sense?)

I live on the Upper West Side, Manhattan. Shabbat shalom!

His next email was surprising.

thats nice, and not far from me.. good shabbas,
a kiss via text is not wrong, if yes i just click 'cancel' Lol.. just kidding.. good shabbos

I guess he's so young his boundaries haven't fully developed. Why is he trying to kiss me via text?

I'm old enough to be your mother, kiddo ;) shabbat shalom umevorach

That should... wait, no, there he goes again:

so what? i kiss my mother too, but not via text..

Okay, this is getting weird. I'm going to tone it down.

she would probably be hurt if you did that ;) good Shabbos

And he said...

Lol.. i didnt ask about her, i said if its ok with you, but never mind, i see you dont want..
good shabbos, all the best!

I left it at that. Why would a boy 18 years my junior want to kiss me? He hasn't even seen a picture of me, just the Frida Kahlo self-portrait I appropriated. Odd.

ET likes to say that I'm a lot hotter than I think I am, and maybe he's right. Either men in my age range have much stricter weight guidelines than boys in their 20s, or I'm a lot cuter than I think I am yet still manage to drive off all the suitable marriage candidates. Food for thought.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. I love the writing. It brings back fond memories of the articles I used to read in the Jewish Press every week on Shabbos when I was a kid.

    Thank you deer.

  2. That was an interesting post

  3. This kid is clearly a chassidic teen trying to be cool and sexy. Take it all with a grain of chulent, so to speak. Also, when possible, AVOIDAVOIDAVOID.

    Also enjoyed your snarky comment to Jeffsn. :D