Sunday, September 13, 2009

Teeny-tiny world. Shallow dating pool. Pick a metaphor -- it all sucks.

My friends Shalva and Aviva made Friday night dinner and invited me. Nice of them, good food, six girls/three guys. I again was struck by the inability of available and attractive people of the opposite sex to pair-bond.

Granted, the ratio echoed real life, but still, there should have been at least three couples formed at that meal. As far as I can tell, there were zero. And let me say -- those guys had quite a lovely selection. We are six amazing, beautiful, smart women, and at least one of us has a wicked sense of humor and the sex drive of a teenage boy. What is wrong with Jewish men?

During the course of the meal, Aviva talked about an astonishingly cheap guy from out of town that she went out with in August.

"So he came in to New York, and we went out on a Sunday morning for coffee," she said. "At about 1:30 he told me he had plans to meet his mother (who lives in New York) and he left. After that, he called and said, 'Do you want to fly out to Cleveland? I could kick in something for the plane fare.'"

The nine of us were not impressed. But... Cleveland? Wait... "What's his name?" I asked, heart in my throat.

Who else could it be? SOS.

I'm trying not to let this affect my opinion of him. But now I'm wondering if we're going out for dinner Saturday night, or just for coffee. And if we'll also be limited to coffee on Sunday.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. that is what's bad about L-Hay

  2. Far as I'm concerned, whoever this guy is, that's a dealbreaker. What a douchebag.

    And yeah, the ratios suck and the men and their attitudes suck a lot worse... something to look forward to when I get back to the States? NOT.

    I have such dating horror stories you would not believe... not going to focus on dating for a while after I get back though, anyway. :)


  3. why is it a dating horror story to go out for coffee on a first date? I've gone on tons of coffee shop first dates, especially with people from the internet- it's great to meet people from the internet at a coffee shop because then if you don't like them you can leave after like 45 minutes when your coffee is done, but if you do like them you can hang out for a while. I can understand not wanting to spend a ton of money on what is essentially a blind date, becuase if you go on a lot of those, that really adds up. That just makes good fiscal sense. :)

    My first date with my husband (who I met on we just hung out for about an hour talking at a local park, and neither of us spent any money on anything. In fact most of our first few dates were just hanging out and talking, I don't think we went out for dinner until maybe the 7th or 8th date, after we had already started calling each other our boyfriend/girlfriend. :)

    Maybe I'm just particularly un-materialistic, but I don't really understand what the problem was.

  4. It wasn't so much that the first date was for coffee, AE -- but it only lasted about an hour and a half (I should have mentioned that) and he's from out of town. I guess we felt that he should have spent more time with her. Also, call me old-fashioned, but we also thought he should have flown her into Cleveland for the second date, not just offered to pay for part of it. If it were an established relationship, she would have been happy to pay for her own airfare, but initially we thought the investment should be more on his end.

  5. omg can I add some actual dating horror story cause you're 'horror stories' don't seem too horrific to me? :)

    Once I went on a coffee date with a dude from the internet (jdate actually- the guy was jewish) who in the course of an hour told me a) he had taken naked pictures of his ex girlfriend tied to a chair when she had a broken leg and b) he then posted these pictures on an internet porn site and c) his girlfriend then wrote into savage love (a sex columnist) asking if that was normal.

    That's my best horror story. My second best is about this time a guy started YELLING at me in a bar about how women arn't supposed to pay for drinks after I offered to pay for our second drink because he only bought enough money with him for one drink each....

  6. if it only lasted an hour and a half maybe it's because he didn't like her that much when he met her? An hour and a half is usually enough for me to get a feel for whether I click with someone or not...

    and call me new fashioned, but I don't think the gender of someone should determine who pays for plane flights... :)

  7. Hevay dan et kol adam b'caf zichut. You don't know what his financial situation is.

    Keep an open mind, because if you go into the date with the mindset that he's cheap, you will start looking for other faults before you start looking for the good things. And this is the same SOS who remembered your work schedule and other things that show he pays attention to what you say.