Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A lot less guilty

After SOS asked me last Friday to set him up immediately with my single friends, I was so annoyed that I didn't write back until Monday:

ha ha... seriously?

I didn't hear from him until this afternoon:

Of course! and if you were in my shoes, you'd feel the same way! :-) After all, it's not like i LIVE in NY City. I only get there a few times a year...

As it turns out, I just met an awesome social-worker -- who lives in NY City, but grew up in the Midwest, and was back here visiting family for Yom Tov. (Amazingly, she's also in her late 30's -- i can't escape these older women). ;-) So, we're going out again on 10/24/09.

How're things going with the (somewhat) new man in your life? regards, SOS

I suppose I should be glad things worked out for SOS -- he won't be eating his airfare -- but I still think he was pretty rude. I decided to let it go, though, and just wrote back:

Fine, thank you. Good luck to you.

I guess now I can go out with JV that Saturday night as well as Sunday -- I wanted to go shopping for new glasses for him; he wants to go look at foliage. If we go to Jersey, we might be able to do both.

I'm also starting to feel less guilty about stomping on JV's heart and mashing that sucker flat 20 years ago.

"I told Dima that you and I met up again," JV said. Dima is short for Dmitry, JV's best college friend and roommate, who apparently listened to JV complain about me, every night, for years after we broke up.

"He must hate me," I said.

"Actually, he doesn't," said JV. "I asked him what he remembered from the time you and I were going out, and he said, 'You were happy.' I was happy, Ayelet. I never regretted going out with you, even when my heart was broken."

So at the very least, I made JV very happy for a little while. Hopefully I can accomplish that again without being as imperious and demanding as I was at age 19.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. It's pretty much a given that you've grown since then.


  2. So romantic :)

  3. If you want to see foliage go to Wave Hill in Riverdale. Beautiful this time of year, romantic and a great place to walk and talk.--Riva

  4. Oh, don't be mad at SOS. He was trying to save face. And he met someone and can now not feel stupid about have a plane ticket to see a woman who is into someone else. He would have felt like an idiot if he had to admit that it hurt him that he bought a plane ticket and some other guy beat him to you. So he acted all nonchalant about it.

    What would you have done if it were you in his shoes? I would have played the nonchalant game too, to save face myself.

    If all goes well, there will be 2 happy couples made here.

  5. lest you forget, you also said to him that if it didn't work out between you and SOS, you had cute, MO friends you could set him up with. You opened the door for him to take you up on that offer, especially since you were already thinking about JV. Frankly, I don't blame him for wanting to walk through it.

    I actually think I know who SOS is (we met over frumster a couple of years ago and it didn't work out), and while I'm not surprised by anything you've described (from your very first post about him), you also have to cut him some slack. If I were in his shoes, I'd be pissed, and instead, he's very relaxed about the whole thing. He deserves a lot more credit for that than you are giving him. Remember, this is the same guy who remembered your work schedule well enough to be cognizant of your late nights and thus knew which nights were better for phone calls than others. You're just upset that he a. didn't express disappointment when you let him down, and b. that he didn't fall madly in love with you over e-mail/phone and was interested in keeping his options open. That's the downside of internet dating. And even not over the internet - jumping into an exclusive relationship before even knowing the person seems a little extreme.

    I've been reading your blog for a while, and though I agree it's important to have very high standards, I think you are very tough on potential partners. Nobody is perfect (least of all me). I appreciate all of yourself that you put into your blog and that you do speak from the heart. I guess I just try to take a different approach in certain areas.