Saturday, November 28, 2009

Valerian hangover

The day after I took one capsule of valerian, I had a slight headache and assumed my sinuses were bothering me. The day after I took two capsules of valerian, my whole head felt like a bruised peach. Took me all day, but I finally made the connection: no more valerian for me.

Thanksgiving day itself was pretty miserable, with the whole headache. Yesterday my family -- cousins Yaffa and Yonina, Yonina's two kids, my sister and her kids, my mother, and my aunt -- went to visit more distant relatives. It was fine -- Jerusha's been civil, and even liked the earrings I got her for her birthday -- but I missed JV and felt disconnected from him.

I'm really trying not to screw this up, but I don't know how well I'm succeeding. I feel incredibly insecure this time around. When we were in college, JV told me I was beautiful and he loved me 50 times a day. For some reason that annoyed me and I broke up with him.

Now he never says it, and I feel insecure when I'm not with him. When I'm with him, it's not so bad; I guess he's pretty good at showing affection and attention. But when he's away, it's hard to remember, for some reason. I wish he would call more often -- like most men, he's not a big fan of long phone conversations -- and I wish, once in a while, that he would tell me he still thinks I'm attractive.

The more I like him, the more I'm afraid he won't love me again.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Oh honey. Just one more reason to take it slow.


  2. Hey- I've had all sorts of similar insecurities in relationships (probably related to my generalized anxiety disorder) and I've found the best way to deal with it is to talk about them with your partner. If you want him to call more often, tell him! he can't read your mind!

    Also some people are not phone people...when I go on business trips and stuff me and my husband talk for like 5 minutes a day to check in, which is fine with both of us, cause we hate the phone.

    As for the compliment thing...have you told him that the reason you broke up with him the first time was cause he complimented you too much? Cause that would be a major reason for him to not be complimenting you so much this time.

    Also, weren't you in college the first time you dated? In my experience college boys are more likely to compliment their girlfriends constantly because they don't really know what a relationship is about, and think that telling their gf that they love them/they are beautiful 24/7 is what being in a relationship means. Maybe this is just a sign of maturity on his part. :)

    Either way, TALK TO HIM. :)

  3. patience with the man. he obviously loves you since he considers you his GF, takes you out, and takes care of you, and is protective of you even against your own religion.

    He is not a chick, don't expect him to say you loves you and chit chat, for that you have your GFs. He said it last time, and look where it got him, he got burned.

    Forget about your looks, your hair, your jewelry, etc - it doesn't last, he knows it, and doesn't care, you should try too, save you a lot of time and money. Be clean, neat, healthy, and happy; smile and you will always be beautiful.

  4. This sounds like normal relationship anxiety to me. You're at the stage where you're not yet sure where it's going to, and it's likely both of you have doubts. Remind him (gently) that you need to hear praise more often and he'll do it, I bet.