Monday, January 04, 2010

A call from the angel Gabriel -- of Cleveland, Ohio

On Friday afternoon, while JV and I were visiting Ruth and her adorable new baby girl, I got a call from someone with an Israeli accent:

"Hello, Ayelet, this is Gavriel. My phone number is 216-xxx-xxxx. Be well, please call me."

Didn't say why I should call, or who he was, for that matter. "Who the heck is Gavriel?" I mused aloud, later, when I called my voicemail for my messages.

"An angel," said JV. "One of the four archangels, I believe. Ask him if he has a friend named Michael." He thinks he's funny.

"I don't think archangels live in Cleveland," I said dryly.

Tonight I finally got around to returning the call.

"Hi, this is Ayelet, may I speak with Gavriel please?" I asked.

"This is Gavriel," he said.

"I got your message... but I don't know why you called me," I said tentatively.

"I am looking for a nice Jewish girl to marry," he said, getting right to the point.

"Okay," I said, "but how did you get my phone number?"

"From heaven!" he said.

Excuse me? He can't really be an angel. "I didn't know heaven was in Cleveland," I said.

"No, I make a joke," he said. I shouldn't make fun of his English; it's probably better than my Hebrew. I pretended to laugh.

"Seriously," I said, "how did you get my number?"

"From the shadchanit," he said. That doesn't help me. I've consulted at least five matchmakers in the past year. None have actually helped me; I'd given up on them.

"Can you tell me her name?" I asked. Maybe one would turn out to be less useless than the others.

"If we go out on a date, I will tell you," he said mischievously. Well, he meant to be mischievous. Being a drug counselor, I took it as manipulative, and possibly dangerous.

"How can I go on a date with you if I don't know you, or how I know you?" I said anxiously. I must have sounded on the verge of hanging up, because he decided to mollify me.

"If I say her name is Gila, will that help you?" he asked. Of course it will. I only know one matchmaker named Gila.

"The thing is," I said, "I haven't spoken to Gila in a while... and I'm seeing someone right now."

"Wonderful!" he said immediately.

"Wow," I said. "That's nice of you to say."

"If there's a chance for Jews to find happiness... you know when Jews are happy, and get married, it helps Moshiach to come," he said.

"Yes, shalom bayis brings Moshiach," I said, sounding about as Lubavitch as Gila herself. "Thank you. I guess, if things don't work out for me with this guy... I should give you a call?"

"Perfect!" said Gavriel. "That's exactly right." Well, he's a good sport, I'll give him that.

"Besoros tovos," I said.

"Amen," he concurred.

I also spent some time tonight studying Russian through some free online lessons. It's a very difficult language. I hope to speak it badly in the not so distant future.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. It's not hard to speak a bad Russian.

  2. Thanks, KWG. I look forward to proving you right very soon.

  3. Just LOL at the randomness. At least he was nice about it!

    Good luck with the parusski!


  4. horror show example of bad Russian.

  5. LOL Ayelet, doesn't it always pour when it rains? You DO seem to sound much better these days.

    So which of the too many free Language sites are you using? I've been meaning to learn Russian for ages now, but can't seem to find my Round Tuit.

  6. This is the first site I tried; it's actually pretty good: