Friday, January 29, 2010

If THAT doesn't scare him away, I don't know what will

I've been overreacting a lot this week. So far, the fallout hasn't buried me.

"I don't want you to make the same mistake I made 20 years ago," I wailed to JV on Wednesday night, in the grip of my vicious BPMS.

I honestly don't remember what he responded. When your brain's in that much of an emotional ferment, it can't really encode memories very efficiently. I'm pretty sure he changed the subject to what he could bring me back from vacation.

Another target of my wrath was the administrator of the Facebook Group THE BRIDAL PATH. I honestly don't know why I joined it, initially. Someone suggested it, I figured, what the heck. Its description reads:

Our main goal is to bring our bride's dreams to reality in the most realistic yet budget friendly manner. We offer a level of expertise that is unparalleled and unmatched. From makeup, hair, floral design, gowns, wedding rentals, party favors to prayer books, our friendly staff is here to ensure the "P.S" factors are met. We pride ourselves on a creative fresh and budget friendly approach to making this day the greatest of her life!

I'm not a bride. I'm not remotely close to being a bride. And when you join a Facebook group, you frequently get emails from the group's administrator. Such as...

Subject: DID YOU KNOW?????
Did you know that THE BRIDAL PATH charges a very low price between $100 and $350 dollars to assist you in booking all these vendors. Do you have a job? Do you need the extra money especially now and therefore you want to stay in your 9am-to 5pm work so your boss won’t flip? Well, look at me as you’re made of honor. I can assist you with all your "P.S" needs.

Overlooking the grammatical errors, there's nothing especially offensive about it. But when I read it, I became enraged. It felt like a slap in the face. So I wrote back:

Did you know that I'm not engaged, so I'm getting the hell out of your group because I don't need to be reminded of that fact?

How on earth could she be expected to know that?? I joined her damn group! But she must be girding up her loins to deal with Bridezillas, because she responded very nicely.

When the time is right you will and you will be so excited you may need the help. How about your friends you can help them out by telling them about my business. I do not send out messages to insult nor hurt those who are single. This is a shocker of a message and the first negative response to my business. Be well and I will have you in my prayers for you to find your husband as well as for your anger towards helpful ideas. Be well :-)

Prayers that I obviously need very badly. Chastened, I responded:

Sorry, all of my friends are already married or as single as I am. Don't know anyone who's engaged. Sorry for biting your head off; it's been a bad relationship week. I knew joining your group was a mistake. Wish you the best of luck with it, but I don't see myself needing it anytime soon if at all.

Maybe her prayers will help my anger -- I'm pretty sure nothing will help me actually get engaged. And maybe I need to not send any email when I sense menstruation is imminent, and wait for the progesterone to exit my system.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Wow, you got it bad, girl. Yeah. I'm thinkin' any bridal service that sends regular emails might not be the best idea for you.

    BTW there's a website called with iphone apps also that will alert your boyfriend, husband, etc. of your impending moodiness. It might not warn him that he's about to get his head bitten off by a feral wildcat, but at least he's got a heads up.

  2. rotflmaoooooooooooooooo....

    If JV ever gets an iPhone, I will definitely visit What a useful service. The developer should get a Nobel Peace Prize.

  3. ROWR!! Yikes!

    I can sympathize with the feeling, but maybe you *should* hold back from sending out any emails at that time of the month.

    Definitely DO NOT join any bridal groups, anyway. What was that, masochism? Argh!

    Shabbat shalom,