Sunday, March 14, 2010

Back from bronchitis

I was sick all week. Went to the doctor on Monday, who diagnosed bronchitis. I figured, a few days on antibiotics and I'll go back in to work. Not half. I was coughing and exhausted and fevered for days, even with the antibiotic, and I'm still coughing and blowing my nose. It feels like I've expelled about 10 times my body weight in phlegm.

But I did have a nice Shabbat with JV in the suburbs, although his area of town (and the related power lines) were hit pretty hard by the nor'easter, which downed a startling number of trees and large branches. We had planned to make banana bread with the children on Sunday, but unfortunately his oven is electric, his house had no power, and his basement was flooded.

Instead, we all went to JV's sister's apartment. Not only did she have electricity, the building also has a pool and we all went swimming. JV was initially strictly opposed to me going into the pool -- apparently Russian fathers make strict boyfriends -- but the jacuzzi was broken and I was in my bathing suit. His sister didn't think I'd contract pneumonia, and apparently Russian aunts are more convincing than American aunts.

Interestingly, my cough sounded a lot better after a few water fights with the malchicki. They had an advantage, as they had goggles and I didn't, but at age six and seven, they don't have enough water-fighting experience and wasted a lot of energy splashing water that didn't get anywhere near me.

"You have a new nickname," Malchick 2 informed me. We were back in the apartment, dried, dressed, and watching a really hilarious cartoon called Chowder.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Moo-KAH," he said.

"What does that mean?" I asked suspiciously. Malchick 2 is six and thinks I'm silly for being scared of rats. Also that girls are icky.

"It means 'flower,'" he said.

Much better than I'd expected. "I like that!" I said. "Flower! That's a pretty nickname!"

"Actually," JV interjected, "it's not 'flower' as in plant... it's 'flour' as in baking." [I made them pizzabagels for dinner that weren't as disgusting as the ones their mother makes (that's not my assessment, it's Malchick 1's opinion). Apparently they're impressed with my culinary prowess.]

"As long as it doesn't mean 'doody,'" I said. Also, apparently the pronunciation is crucial. "Moo-KAH" means "flour." "MOO-kah" means suffering.

I came home to an email message from some shlub 10 years my senior on Orthodate:

Hi lets talk

I'm not a paying member, so I can only respond three ways:

Sorry, but I am not interested.
Please tell me more about yourself.
Please send me your email address so we can talk more.

I have a boyfriend, this guy's a lot older than I am, he's not attractive, and he doesn't even appear literate. I used the first response.

He responded with class and panache:

you dont know what is good, keep waiting

Nice. Not hard to know why he's still single. I could block him from contacting me, but I'm waiting to see if he comes up with any more illiterate unwitticisms.

About 2 weeks ago I got an email from a 33-year-old on Jewish Soul Search:

Subject: Hi Ayelet...
Message: sound hilarious! I was laughing as I read through your profile, and you sound like a great combination of brains and beauty. I'd like to get to know you better, do you have a bf? Email me at Jon

Wow. This never happens when I don't have a boyfriend. I looked at his profile: smart, funny, cute. But so is JV, and he's already mostly trained to suit me.

Thanks for writing and for the compliments... but yes, right now I do have a boyfriend. Good luck in your search for your soul mate!

Filed him under "nice guys I can't date, but do I know anybody for him?" He lists himself as "conservadox," which probably means most of my orthodox friends wouldn't be interested in him. But JV's sister, Svetlana, just broke up with her boyfriend, who between you and me was kind of an asshat.

So I wrote back to him Saturday night:

I don't know if you're still looking, but my boyfriend has a younger sister who is almost as pretty as I am, definitely as smart as I am (she's a civil engineer), and six years younger than I am. Would you be interested in meeting her? She's really sweet.

Actually, I probably should have written that she's just as pretty as I am and almost as funny. But he wrote back:

Great to hear from you. What's up? She sounds almost as cool as you! :o) Sure I'd like to chat with her, she can email me to What does she she look like? Tell her to send a few pics. BTW I look much better in person and now than in that photo! What are her hobbies? I'd be glad to find out more about her. Is she in NY? Reply to my email above too!

I'll call her tomorrow and see if she's ready to dive back into the dating pool. If getting over a breakup is like surviving bronchitis, she's probably due for another dip, and even if it doesn't go anywhere, I think she'd have fun.

Back to work tomorrow, Gd help me.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. bronchitis, even with antibiotics, can hang on a long time. Take care of yourself and take it easy.

    Great that you and the kids have been bonding :)

  2. I honestly thought it would be more like strep than pneumonia. I'm also coping with a concomitant head cold, so I'm still coughing and blowing my nose.

    The kids, kinahora, are really easy to bond with. They're extremely cute and winsome, and relatively well-behaved for energetic little boys. They also don't seem to have figured out that they can talk about me in Russian in front of me and I won't understand them. It will be interesting to see whether they figure that out before I pick up more Russian.