Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Shalhevet's response

It's a little embarrassing to admit that the past 20+ years of religious practice have more or less been for naught, because I'm basically back to the observance level I started with -- committed conservative Jew. But I've spent the past 20 years insisting on a much stricter practice. Refusing to eat off my mother's dishes. Strictly adhering to shmirat shabbat and yom tov. Wearing skirts instead of pants, eschewing sleeveless tops.

I've been wondering how my frum friends will react to the new/old me. Shalhevet stepped up admirably.

Absolutely an answer I wanted - just to know that you have thought it all through. The orthodox world is seriously flawed at many levels. My concern with others is far more about Jewish continuity than any particular level of observance.

And, admittedly, my own personal brand of cynicism is that I no longer believe in the idea of love. I view it as an American cultural myth that is flawed and inherently temporary. So it hurts that you think you have finally found it, and I can't help but wonder how long it will last.

Let me know if I should save my free airline ticket for a trip to New York in the fall! But I also understand that not everyone can be invited.

How awesome is it that she wants to come to my wedding right after her marriage fell apart?

Save it!!!! Please! I would love to have you there, and we're probably going to invite your brother and his family as well. JV knows them from shul.

Humor, Freud said, is a mature defense mechanism -- a functional way to cope with stress, distress, and all life's vicissitudes. So I was heartened by her response:

That's certainly Jewish credential enough for me :-)

I appreciate hearing my friends' positive feedback about JV. It's not the only factor, but it's good knowing they see him as I do.

Glad you approve ;) In terms of being cynical and no longer believing in love... JV has loved me since we were both 19, and a good part of him never stopped. I just finally caught up to him. Use this time to examine how you approach and select potential partners, and hopefully the third time will be the Prince Charming.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. Your true friends will always love you and accept you.

    Life takes surprising turns and no experience is wasted. So don't regret the last 22 years.

    Who knows how your day to day life--and religious practices--with JV will evolve, especially once you are married. Just be true to yourself and your heart and the rest will follow.