Saturday, May 22, 2010

Tempting fate

It's unofficial: we're getting engaged in July, married in October. Which means I really need to start planning now. Planning a wedding before you're officially engaged is kind of dangerous, right? Evil spirits from the sitra achra could come and ruin my happiness, or so I've been told.

Hell with it. I'm looking at wedding venues, flowers, hairstyles, and bridesmaid gowns. JV is actually weighing in with some opinions, and not freaked out by any of my questions.

A: "Should we use silk flowers instead of fresh?"
JV: "Fresh. People will be able to tell if they're silk."

A: "What if the bridesmaids wear really fancy, elegant blouses and plain black skirts?"
JV: "That will look pedestrian."

A: "You're wearing a vest and a long tie with your tux, not a bow tie and cummerbund."
JV: "What's wrong with cummerbunds?"
A: "Do you really need to ask?"
JV: "Is this one of the things I have no say in?"
A: "I'm letting you wear your tux, aren't I?"

JV's already been given the specs for my engagement ring. I want a cushion- or radiant-cut stone in a sculpted solitaire setting, like this one. I plan to get it reset for our tenth anniversary, in a setting with side stones. By then I'll probably want a change. I tried to hint (well, not so much hint as instruct) that I'd like the ring a little sooner, but no dice. JV still needs to have the conversation with his kids about it.

But I'm going on a mini-family reunion with Yaffa, Yonina and her kids, Jerusha and her kids, and my mother and aunt. I hope we'll be able to squeeze in a little bridesmaid dress shopping, and find a tux for Yonina's husband and her son, as well as my nephew Oedipus and Malchick 1 and Malchick 2. (We'll get theirs locally, but we can shop for them on vacation.) JV's best friend has a tux, so we're just going to find vests and ties we like for them, and I guess JV's father will rent a tux with a vest and tie.

This isn't happening how I'd envisioned or hoped, and I've made a lot of compromises to make it possible. But I'll be 40 in two weeks, and JV loves me more than any man ever has. And for the first time in my life I'm happy most of the time. It's worth it.

Gotta go badger JV to show me his tux.

Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. B'shaah tova umutzlachat. I, for one, am over the moon with joy for you both. And I think I can speak for a fair number of our mutual friends, too.

    Love you (both!)!

  2. What Carmen said!!! I am glad you have found your bashert.

    Glad you are enjoying the planning. Just stick to enjoying, and don't stress about any of it.

    As far as tuxes, that is easy as pie. Just take all your relatives who need 'em to Syms @ E 54 and Park. David bought his in 15 minutes flat. Prices are v reasonable. Does not make sense to rent. They have tuxes for little boys too, I think.

    I can recommend a very good reasonably priced florist.

    As far as bridesmaid dresses--I picked a color and let everyone find the outfit they were most comfortable in. Much less stressful than dressing everyone alike.

    Please let me help you w/the planning etc.!!

  3. I am so glad I stopped by today! I am so happy for you! And do all the wedding planning you want. All that evil eye mumbo jumbo is crap. Keep us updated!

  4. Unofficial Mazal Tov!!!

    Really, really happy for you.

    Looking forward to meeting JV finally.

    If the florist FTT reccomends is the same one she reccomended for me & S, I agree - they were great & went above & beyond.

    S has a list of wedding vendors we used - I'll ask her to send it to you.

    This isn't happening how I'd envisioned or hoped

    It never happens the way one envisions. What's important is that it's happening the way it was meant to happen.

  5. Oh, & I totally agree with TikunOlam. Ayin Hara is nonsensical superstition and has very little to do with "authentic" Judaism (whatever that might be.)

  6. Happy to take any and all vendor recommendations, and to hear your sincere good wishes :)

  7. very happy and excited for you! will look forward to sharing in smachot soon