Saturday, June 19, 2010

It's still unofficial

Last night I dreamed JV decided he didn't want to marry me, after all, and I had to start dating again. This waiting for things to be official is really getting to me. I woke up early this morning, washed a ton of dishes (we had guests for Shabbos dinner), waited for JV to wake up, got bored waiting, and decided to look at the bridesmaid dress again.

I got fabric swatches from a company called Aria Dress. They make simple, lovely, elegant bridal and bridesmaid gowns, only one of which has sleeves (you have the option of cap, short, or 3/4-length). The swatches were gorgeous silk shantung, and I totally lust after the aubergine and Bordeaux. So those are the wedding party colors. Except I'm going to call them "garnet and amethyst," because I love gemstones. (Aria also makes ties and vests in the same fabrics as the gowns, so we can order those for JV, his best man, his father, and my cousin Yonina's husband. I love their flower girl dresses, too, but don't think my sister and cousin will want to pay $163 per dress for those.)

Question is, do I ask the bridesmaids to limit themselves to that dress, or do I give them the option of all 42 styles? It's not an orthodox wedding. The dresses are elegant and tasteful, not the least bit slutty. I've even recently seen more than one modern orthodox wedding where the bride and bridesmaids wore little to no sleeves.

Which leads to: Should I keep on at my endless quest for an elegant sleeved bridal gown that I don't have to have custom-made or borrow from a gemach -- or should I go sleeveless?

What I need to do is start trying on bridal gowns to see what suits me at this weight -- and if I can even pull off sleeveless dresses without looking like I'm smuggling small exotic pets in my arm fat. But doing that before an official engagement really seems like tempting fate.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Ayelet,

    I know this sounds nuts, and says way too much about me but I have been married for 14 years. I *still* have those dreams now and then. Sometimes to the point that I wake up and see he is there next to me and it takes a moment to process that we are married and have been in love and happily together for close to 16 years.

  2. I had my dress made. It was *extremely* cheaper than buying one. I designed it by combining a few dresses I liked. I was very happy with the result.

  3. I considered having a dress made, but I'm afraid that would take too long. Also, the last time I had a dress made it was EXTREMELY unflattering, so I'm nervous about trusting a dressmaker.

    Glad to hear I'm not the only one who has those dreams. But in my case, I'm still waiting for JV to have that conversation with his parents about my illness, and I don't know if they'll understand it and approve of the marriage.

  4. I hope JV gets his butt in gear and makes it official soon.

    Tzniut aside, dresses w/sleeves are way more elegant, IMO, especially if you are having a late November wedding! It does not cost much at all to add sleeves and whatever dress you find will have to be altered anyway.

    As far as the bridesmaids, as I said previously, give 'em choice. They should get the opportunity to wear something they find attractive. too.

  5. Well, those dresses are totally gorgeous.

    BTW, I don't know whether you know that in Russia, chrysanthemums are only used at funerals.

  6. Glad you like the dresses, Anna :) I didn't know that in Russia chrysanthemums = funeral -- thanks for informing me. JV's mother carried calla lillies at her wedding in 1971. No idea where she got them -- they might have been fake -- but I'm in love with calla lilies myself.