Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Ayelet hears from Bachelor #2

This was another guy I wrote to; let's call him "Dr. Chef."
43, Male
New York, NY
Single, without children
Conservative, from a traditional family
Sefaradi (Iraqi)

Additional Background Information
Consider relocation? Maybe
Wishing to make aliyah to Israel? No
Jewish Education: Hebrew school
Secular Education: JD/MD/Ph.D/Doctoral
Languages Spoken: English, Hebrew
Political Beliefs: not important
Occupation: MD

Hobbies and Interests: Cooking and lively conversation with friends and family. Reading. Playing and listening to music. Live theatre. Travel and wine.

Religious observance: Ritual observance (Kiddush, Synagogue, etc); not "Kosher" but no meat/dairy or pork, etc.

The role of Judaism in my life: Family, spirituality, tradition, community, and history

This is how I describe myself: Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly, maintain your virtues, and cherish your liberties. Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up. Sometimes, you just have to bow to the absurd.

This is what I am looking for in a mate: Lovers need to know how to lose themselves and then how to find themselves again. To love is to lose control a little. The Japanese call it "shibumi, " the sophistication of simple things.

In a word: wow. (TikunOlam: any signs of personality disorder here?) True, I've had bad experiences with Iraqi men in the past, but I've had bad experiences with all kinds of men, and I'm not becoming a lesbian. So I wrote to him:

A man who cooks, cites Micah, and employs pithy Japanese concepts to explain his worldview. Values family, likes live theater, actually plays an instrument. Color me impressed. I didn't know they made Renaissance Samurai anymore.

He read the note, looked at my profile, and didn't respond all day yesterday. I mentally sighed. "He's not interested," I thought. "He's either going to ignore the initial contact or send me some polite 'thanks but no thanks.'" Oh well, at least I still have Sir Gallant, and GG and I are getting more gelato Saturday night. (He actually offered to cook me dinner at his place, but I saw that as a clever ploy for seduction and asked if we could hang out in, you know, public.)

But at 1:03 a.m., Dr. Chef surprised me:

Well, hello Ayelet. Perusing your profile, it is plain why you reached out. Not that there is so very much boiler plate to these sites, but, I must say, "takes one to know one"! (Renaissance samurai). But I do take issue with one part of your profile: grocery shopping and/or opera are always fun, no matter who you are with!

And goodness knows you must need at least a little fun after working the job you do, and, given the long, cold winters there, one is left to wonder what exactly that might entail. Let's just agree from now that you must be a superb chef, the better chef, and it is, in fact, you who will cook for me! (just kidding -- glad to share a kitchen anytime). Please, do tell more.

SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, I could exchange emails with him indefinitely. Or I could give him my phone number and tell him directly. What should I do? I'm certainly not going to write back immediately ;)

Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. and, given the long, cold winters there

    I thought he's in NYC. What does he mean by "there"?

    I'm certainly not going to write back immediately

    Forgive my ignorance in dating etiquette, but why not?

    In any case, I think you should go for it!

    (FYI, this is my new blogging name. You know me as Rabba bar bar Chana, AKA D.)

  2. I was kind of confused by that "there" as well. I guess I'll find out. And I wasn't going to wait 72 hours before writing back... in fact, I just did and I'm going to blog my response right now.

    Philo. LOVE it. Much better than RBBC.

  3. Sir Lancelot9/01/2010 1:44 PM

    "I'll make you dinner at my place"? Move on to the next. If that's his opening bid, he fools around with women he barely knows, (opening himself and you to STD's etc.) and is dating for sex, not marriage.

    Dr. Chef sounds like a mentsch at least from the start. Why isn't he married already?

  4. Sir L, I know GG is on the make. That's why I deftly parry his every move ;)

    Why isn't Dr. Chef married? No idea. Why aren't I married?