Sunday, September 12, 2010

I'm so BAD at this dating stuff

Woke up too early this morning, as usual, and went to Frumster. Noticed that a guy four years my junior, "Frum-n-Cool," had looked at my profile. I looked at his.

Single, without children
Shomer Mitzvot
From a religious family
Mixed Ashkenazi & Sefaradi

Additional Background Information
Grew up in: Riverdale
Consider relocation? Yes
Wishing to make aliyah to Israel? Yes
Jewish Education: Jewish day school
Secular Education: Masters Degree
Languages Spoken: English, Hebrew
Political Beliefs: not important
Occupation: business

Physical Attributes
Height: 170 cm/5' 7"
Build: slim
Do you smoke?: no

Religious Practice
Frequency of Torah Study: daily
Frequency of Tefilah: three times daily
Kippa: black velvet kippa
Tzitzit: always

What Shomer Mitzvot means to me: It means I am passionate about torah and mitzvot and strive to be a better eved hashem.

This is how I describe myself: I'm smart, and laid back with a dry sense of humor. I live on the upper west side and love the jewish community here, particularly learning at the West Side Kollel and davening on shabbas at Rabbi Vorhand's shteeble. I try to be a caring and giving person and hope to meet someone special who is ready to start a family. I also have an adventurous side and enjoy snowboarding, scuba diving, and the great outdoors.

This is what I am looking for in a mate: Sweet, smart, and cute for starters. Someone with a positive outlook who is communicative, open-minded, kind, and caring, that values Torah and family.

He does sound cool. And frum. Even in my 100% shomer shabbat days I don't think I was that frum. But he seems fun and interesting. I figured he would never in a million years actually contact me, because of the age difference. A lot of younger men click on my profile picture because, frankly, it's hot. It's probably the best picture anyone's ever taken of me.

So I was surprised, a few hours later, when I noticed he had sent me an IceBreaker and tried to IM me. Seems like he's interested. But I want to play it cool,.by the Rules, right? Not show too much interest or I'll scare him away. This was all I sent:

Thanks for writing. Sorry I missed your IM. Can I see your profile pic?

He's read it but hasn't responded. What should I have done? What should I do now???

Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. omg are you referring to the book "The rules"??? That book is awful. Yeah I guess it might work occasionally for getting a second date, but any real relationship I have ever had broke like every single one of those rules.

  2. btw I met my husband through an online dating site (okcupid) and i know the rules say something about letting him be the one to call you, if he isn't called he isn't interested, anyways, the day after I met my husband I IMed him even though he hadn't contacted me first and it was the next day...he later told me that he thought I was completely not interested in him after our first date and he wouldn't have contacted me cause he thought I didn't like him. Which was the complete opposite of the truth..i liked him a lot, I just tend to be very shy and reserved on a first date...and to be fair, I actually cut our first date off after an hour cause I had somewhere else to be, which is a pretty strong "not interested" signal.

    Anyways, just one example of how those rules are BS. They are also like made for dating in the 1950s, with 1950s gender roles, not in the modern world where women are allowed to ask men out and cues about being interested are totally different than they used to be.