Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My history with Sir Gallant

I haven't heard from Sir Gallant lately, but I reviewed my Frumster inbox recently and realized that he and I have been communicating since June 2009. Of course, there was a gap between 9/17/09 and 8/29/10. But I first wrote to him on 6/16/09, after viewing his profile. And I dubbed him the Frum Playa. We traded some emails on Frumster. I told him I was taking a Frumster break, gave him my email address, and didn't hear from him until September, when he emailed me on Frumster again:

With such a smile still single???!

I guess I kind of forgot I thought he was a player, because I wrote back:

I know -- hard to believe ;) I guess I'm picky.

His response wasn't thrilling:

Dont be

Ouch. I got a little defensive.

I think you have to be selective when you choose the person you're going to spend your life with. I don't think my standards are impossible or unrealistic, but you have to be with someone whose company you enjoy and whom you find attractive.

Then I felt like that sounded too negative and sent another line:

I didn't mean to sound high-maintenance
He didn't sound put off, though:

just wondering why a cutie such as you is still for grabs

Endless emails back and forth do not lead to dates, so I ventured:

I could tell you better in person ;)

And that seemed to work:

kewl -- lets exchange numbers; i am going offline soon

So we did. And I wrote:

so call me sometime... shana tova

He responded:

definately... shana tova

But I never got a call. I emailed him again after Yom Kippur, hoping his fast was easy and giving him my phone number again. No response. I started dating JV, my Frumster membership lapsed, and I forgot all about Sir G.

Went back on Frumster a few days after breaking up with JV. I sent Sir G a free icebreaker, just to test the waters. He wrote back, so I joined to read his message:

So Ayelet with a beautiful smile such as yours, why are you still single?

Because I give men my phone number and they don't call me! At least he's consistent. And I guess I had completely forgotten our previous exchanges, because I wrote:

I'm very picky ;) I guess I didn't want to settle. I want to marry my passionate lover/best friend and confidant/partner in problem-solving. Not someone who thinks just like me, but who brings out the best in me.

Do I get to see YOUR beautiful smile? What's your password?

I'm consistent too. He wrote back:

You should be picky; my password is sirG123

Took a look, and he looks fine. Wrote back:

Glad to say you pass muster with flying colors :) Next step?

Trying to get him to take the lead.

so do you; lets chat/talk on phone. Whats ur number? when is best to call/chat?

I gave it to him again, and added:

I work 1-9 on Tuesday, so tonight I'll be exhausted, and 12-8 on Wednesday, so you can call me Wednesday after nine. What's your name?

He didn't answer that email, but he did send me a "missed IM" on Tuesday:

hiya, how are you?

I answered:

tired... I hate working 1-9, it's my least favorite part of the job. How are you?

Haven't heard a word since 8/31/10. On 9/13/10, I thought it would be cute to respond to one of his messages from September 2009:

With such a smile still single???!

I wrote:

Yes, I haven't met my knight in shining armor ;) Gmar chatima tova.

He hasn't read it yet.

Reviewing this checkered correspondence, I wonder if I should call him -- after all, he did give me his number -- or give up on him entirely.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Why would you pursue someone who you previous dubbed a "playa"? A guy who takes a number and doesn't call isn't serious about getting married and isn't a mensch -- so why would you waste time on him?

  2. My proclivity is to rush to judgment, so my calling him a "playa" doesn't mean the term is valid. But you're right -- he's had my phone number for more than a year. If he was serious about dating for marriage, he'd've called by now.

  3. Trust your gut instinct -- if there's anything I've learned from all these years of dating, it's that.