Monday, September 06, 2010

Weirdo with a bad toupee

So yesterday I talked with the guy that the Hineni shadchan set me up with. And I was not happy. Even though on paper you might think he's what I want: educated, cultured intelligent, employed and likes his job.

He went to Haverford, Middlebury, Harvard, Johns Hopkins, and a few other places I can't remember. Also studied in various yeshivas. He started out in literary criticism, got a doctorate in Jewish history, then obtained his MLS and now works as a librarian/professor at a branch of Touro.

And I don't want to go out with him.

Why wouldn't I want to go out with a man who mentions Coleridge and Walter Benjamin in our first conversation? (If you haven't heard of WB, and I have, Google him.) Who knows how to pronounce van Gogh, even if he thought the artist cut off his ear and gave it to his doctor? (It actually went to a woman the artist liked.) He knew that absinthe makes you see yellow and this is believed to be the reason so many of van Gogh's works have a yellow tone. (It was a little annoying that he told me what absinthe is. I know what absinthe is. If you don't, Google it.)

I just didn't enjoy talking to him. He's even more of a know-it-all than I am. And he seemed like a wanderer in life, kind of a luftmensh. I know I took a long and winding road to my career, but he took a really long and winding road.

Maybe it was my hesitance, or my similar liberal-arts background (comparative literature BA at one of the lesser Ivies, my facility with languages), but he was really into me. Of course. But I didn't enjoy talking to him. And I don't want to go out with him. I actually used my cell phone to call my home phone and trigger a call-waiting. He then asked if I wanted to meet, and I told him I needed to think about it. Which prompted him to start arguing with me.

"I hope you're not going to judge me based on one conversation," he said. "I mean, I went to the beach and swam in the ocean today. I'm tired. If I'd known you were going to base your opinion of me on this conversation, I should have taken a nap."

I pleaded that I needed to sleep on it and talk to my friends, that's what girls do, etc. He was relentless. But finally I got him off the damn phone and called a few friends. Who all made the same basic point: Don't go out with him. If you didn't enjoy talking to him, trust your instincts. (Thanks, guys, you know who you are.)

This morning I was reminded of a weird guy I met on Frumster, spoke with on the phone, did not like, refused to meet, and encountered a similar outraged response. He and I ultimately met in person at the Hineni event where I met the matchmaker who set me up with the Luftmensh Librarian.  He recognized me at the event and we chatted a bit.

He was as weird as I remembered (although he was friendly and didn't make any pointed remarks about me refusing to go out with him), and he had an awful toupee that sat crookedly on his head. I was reminded of him because I saw his profile this morning, doing my daily Frumster scan. My instincts told me not to go out with him, and my instincts were 100% right.

So I'm not going out with the Luftmensh Librarian. I'm trusting my instincts.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. wasn't just any woman he gave his ear was a prostitute!

    I would say not to write off this guy completely based on one conversation...when I first met my husband (we met through based on our conversations/his picture I wasn't interested in him, but I hadn't been on a date in a couple of months so I just met up with him to tell myself that I was still putting in an effort... and then in person he was totally awesome (and turned out his picture was like 4 years old from when he was much skinnier- which I find much less attractive). Anyways, you never know...just because you made a good decision in terms of the Toupee guy doesn't mean it's the right decision every time.

  2. Sometimes people can be a fit on paper and not in reality.