Tuesday, November 23, 2010

As good as it gets?

I'm beyond frustrated and enraged at the work situation. I'm afraid to try to enforce proper behavior in my groups since I've been called "punitive." I'm beyond furious at Ivan the Terrible for opening a Jwed account. Even though I knew he was lying when he said he loved me but didn't want to get married again, it's still a kick in the gut. I know I shouldn't care, but I can't not care.

I know I promised not to do anything until I turn 50, and I intend to stick to that promise. But honestly, I wish I'd never been born. I just can't seem to get it right, and I'm tired of screwing up and catching shit for it.

This has been an extraordinarily bad mood day. Probably most of what actually happened wasn't objectively so dire. But I'm tired of always facing it, always being buried chin-deep in shit. I'm just exhausted. If I could give up, I would.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. I know you've said you've turned to the Al-mighty before, but when you feel the lowest is when you need to turn to Him the most. Pray to God. Not to remove or change things, just to pour out your heart to Him about your frustration. If you do this every day, I guarantee it will help.