Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Joey weighs in

I really think you need to just meet people and see if you click. Asking all these religious compatibility questions in the abstract before meeting someone, in my opinion, is not very helpful. When you actually like someone and have a real person at your side, you will be willing to consider a much wider range of religious observance than one's ideal compatibility in the abstract.

Just like you were willing to become conservative for JV, you may also be willing to be more frum for someone you like. And that person may be willing to be married to someone more modern. You could tell him that you had attempted to be fully shomeret mitzvot for years, and that you got into a relationship with a man who had left orthodoxy and demanded that you make compromises. You did make compromises but that relationship did not work out. You are in the process of sorting out where you stand, and you are intimidated from trying to come back to the observant community because you feel like a hypocrite.

See if he has a problem with that.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. Couldn't agree more.

    Plus, the word hypocrite doesn't apply here at all. A hypocrite is someone who professes a conviction but is lying about it. Like someone who goes around lecturing smokers on the ill health effects and secretly smokes in the bathroom.

    You're just being human.