Monday, November 22, 2010

Practicing patience

On 11/14/10 I wrote to a cute guy on Supertova:

You have a really nice smile, I would love to see it in person :)

He wrote back on 11/15:

thanks for writing. You look like u have an intersting job. Do u do acupancturest.

Why wasn't I put off by this? ;) He wasn't born in the U.S. He's Israeli.

Height: 5'11" (180 cm)
Age: 44
Marital Status: Divorced
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Slender
Exercise: Twice a week
Politics: Moderate
Smoking: No
Drinking: Socially
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Religion: Modern Orthodox
Frequency of Synagogue: Every Sabbath
Kosher: Always
Willing to make Aliyah?: Maybe
Been to Israel: I was born there
Children: None
Want Children: Yes
Profession: real estate
Job Title: president
Education: Bachelors Degree
Salary: Prefer not to say

Okay, so I'm somewhat swayed by the bachelor's degree and the fancy title. I wrote back:

My job is VERY interesting ;) I'm trained as a detox acupuncturist, which means I know how to insert needles into 5 points on the ear to support substance abuse treatment. Can't do much for the rest of the body. I don't use this technique at my current job, though, which is unfortunate.

Do you like your job? And what do you like to do for fun?

Had to wait three agonizing days before he responded on 11/18:

can we speak on the telephone.

A few hours later I wrote giving him my number, and another three days passed until he called tonight.

Maybe I should be apprehensive. When I told him that my mother was born in Europe and likes bittersweet chocolate, plain yogurt, and dry wine, his first reaction was, "She must be very fit and healthy!"

"Well, she takes good care of herself," I said, "which is good, because I want her to be around for a long time!"

He may be one of those guys who likes skinny girls. But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained. We had an interesting conversation, and he suggested we get together. So I told him I was free this Saturday night, and instead of agreeing, he said, "Let's touch base later in the week."

I don't like playing games. But I said, "Okay, let's talk again on Wednesday." If he doesn't call by Wednesday night, I'm going to be busy Saturday night. I don't want to make it too easy for him. Because whenever I have, in the past, I ended up getting dumped. I need to show that I'm busy and happy without him, and if he wants some of my time and attention, he needs to book in advance. Spontaneity is great when you're already on the date, but I want to plan my time so that I'm not feeling insecure about when or if I'll see him again.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. I wouldn't hold your breath. Guys who are really interested will make the time and won't make lame excuses to talk when it's convenient for them. Otherwise the girl is just an item simmering on the back burner. Guys aren't so complicated-- they do what they want when they want. If a guy can't clear his schedule in advance he is looking around to see if anything better will come along.

    I know this because a lot of my male friends are exactly like this and pull that same "we'll touch base later" BS, too.

    Anytime I have won the affections of a guy he will initiate contact every day because he's scared of losing me.

  2. You're absolutely right, DOL. I don't really expect this to go anywhere. It was a useful exercise for me, though, because it showed me how really impatient I am. I definitely need to work on that.