Sunday, November 14, 2010

A really great description of me

You are tradition-minded, you are respectful of Jewish customs/way of life and they are important to you. You might not believe in the Orthodox creed in the absolute sense and you do/might have doubts about Orthodox theology (Torah L'Moshe MiSinai, etc.) but that doesn't mean that you can't see yourself living within the Orthodox sphere if there is sufficient impetus to do so (the right guy). Orthodox Judaism is not antithetical to your being, it's just not inherently who you are.

Can you tell it was written by a lawyer?

Kalev emailed me a few weeks ago for advice on a girl he likes, and we've been corresponding ever since. He's good friends with Mara Dreck but manages not to get caught between us. Now that things are over with Ivan the Terrible (my new name for JV), I guess it's not much of an issue.

Anyway, today Kalev emailed me to ask how my Shabbos was. I said it was fine -- it was -- and asked how his was. He wrote back:

Shabbos was very nice! I was in Teaneck (shocking, I know!), had dinner at Mara's with a number of other singles (I knew all but one of them, the one woman I didn't know is 27). 

A singles dinner in Teaneck. Wonder if there were any guys for me? Apparently not, as I asked and he responded:

I'm inclined to say no. I was the oldest guy there, one of the guys is considerably to the right of me, one guy (I believe) is generally interested in women in their early 30s and the other guy is 29. What (who) are you looking for in a guy?

Good question.

Someone close to my age, intelligent, professional, nice, and Jewish to some extent of practice and identity. Right now I can be flexible for the right guy, as long as the house is kosher, the kids go to Jewish schools, and all the holidays are celebrated. I can be MO, I can be Conservative.

Which made me feel kind of wishy-washy. But he responded:

Very flexible of you!

And very diplomatic of him.

Thanks for not thinking it's hypocritical

I wrote, and he wrote back

Why would it be hypocritical (of course I'm not a very judgmental person)? You are tradition-minded, you are respectful of Jewish customs/way of life and they are important to you. You might not believe in the Orthodox creed(?) in the absolute sense and you do/might have doubts about Orthodox theology (Torah L'Moshe MiSinai, etc.) but that doesn't mean that you can't see yourself living within the Orthodox sphere if there is sufficient impetus to do so (the right guy). Orthodox Judaism is not antithetical to your being, it's just not inherently who you are.

I admire nonjudgmental people. I wish I could be more like them. I'm trying, but it's difficult. He did a great job summarizing where I stand on this. Too bad I don't find him remotely attractive.

And too bad I'm not attracted to the 51yo. He's a nice guy, but there was no chemistry. Looks a lot older than his photo. He went to the wrong location, so the date started 15 minutes late. He ordered herbal tea and asked for a paper cup, so I didn't feel comfortable ordering cake. (Although probably he did me a favor, as I really don't need cake these days.) Also, I knew he was just penciling me in -- he told me he was going to a concert this evening, and on the date told me he was going to meet friends for dinner before the concert. If I had liked him, I might have been offended.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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