Sunday, November 07, 2010

Two Jwedders I will NOT be contacting

Sometimes you wonder why a person is in their 40s and single. And sometimes you don't have to wonder. Let's take a look at Precious Paul:

43, Male
Single, without children
Conservadox, from a traditional family
Grew up in: State of Confusion

I should have stopped reading after that groan-inducing pun...

Jewish Education: Hebrew school
Secular Education: Bachelors Degree
Languages Spoken: English
Political Beliefs: right wing
Occupation: Entertainment/Media
Hobbies and Interests: Classic Cars, Jewish Causes, Charitable Work, Animal Welfare

Okay, so far not so bad.

This is how I describe myself: Handsome Reward for information leading to the introduction and meeting of THE only NORMAL, mentally stable, emotionally balanced, honest, non game-playing, physically attractive, SJF on an internet dating site! Legend has it, she really does exist. But after some previous web-dating experiences, I can't help but wonder if I'm in search of The Loch Ness Monster!

Sounds like someone has a little baggage. And that doesn't describe Precious Paul, just what he wants and how frustrated he is that he hasn't found it.

I could be like everyone else who posts personal ads and go on and on about myself. How good-looking I am (I have yet to see an ad "Homely SJF seeks SJ Mensch"), my likes and dislikes, what a great guy I am (after all, there's no praise like self-praise); and my personal favorite, "Tired of the Bar Scene" (Shocking! How could any woman get tired of being hit on by packs of lustful, intoxicated men looking for one thing?!). And seriously, who doesn't like "long walks on the beach under the stars, " "Romantic candle-lit dinners" and  "Intimate evenings at home in front of the fireplace with that special someone."

All this tells me very little about him except that Precious Paul thinks he's very witty.

And does it really matter if I like frequenting museums or NASCAR races... going bowling or going to the opera... stamp-collecting or collecting rocks? What DOES matter is the character of a person. I consider myself to be of strong character, with high morals and good values.

Now that I find useful. He's right: what matters most is character. And according to him, his is the best.

I treat the woman in my life with the same respect in which I treat my mother & sisters. I'm protective of those close to me... NOT possessive. I have NO baggage & I'm not into games! Serious Inquiries Only!

I like men who respect women. But: no baggage? Really?

What kind of woman is he interested in?

In search of a S.E.X.Y. J.E.W. (Smart Easygoing Xtraordinary Youthful Jewish Emotionally stable Woman). I'm attracted to strong, intelligent, very feminine women. Someone with an ever-so-slightly sarcastic sense of humor.

Actually, that pretty much describes Ayelet. Except for the "emotionally stable" part. Maybe I should contact him.

Others have described me as Good-hearted, kind, giving, caring, strong, confident, sexy, passionate, romantic, unique, fit, too intelligent for my own good, funny, sarcastic, with a bit of an "edge." Superficially speaking, the general female consensus seems to be I have "really sexy eyes, " "a great smile, " and "an amazing physique." Now that I think of it... I guess I'm seeking the female me! (preferably a bit prettier, with curves in different places). Someone who believes in a relationship, the pronouns "us" and "we" should be used far more than "I" and "me." Also, must love animals! I rescued 3 dogs, a mouse and a harbor seal...2 of which now live with me... you guess which 2 ;-)

How bad can a guy who loves animals be? My cousin Yaffa used to rescue seals.

Those who are needy, have major baggage, game-players, carnival freaks, trolls, escapees (or those who were released on good behavior), anyone weighing more than a Buick, and gay men (attract enough of them on my own for some strange reason) NEED NOT APPLY! If you're ready to settle down... but NOT settle, would love to hear from you!

"Anyone weighing more than a Buick"? "Carnival freaks, trolls"? Where's that stellar character he was telling us about? Precious Paul, your Freudian slip is showing. I will not be contacting you.

Then there's Dude in Denial. All you need to know about him is that he's 43, he's a musician/teacher, and this:

I am looking for a young lady of any religious background, never married, never having lived in a marriage life situation. I am more comfortable with shy girls who are substantially younger than I am. She should be between the approximate ages of 18 and 25. She should have old fashioned values and want a family. It is up to her if she would like a career or be a traditional wife. I would like our relationship to be interdependent.

No, dude, you want her to be completely dependent on you, with no basis for comparison. A 43yo man who wants to marry an 18yo girl, young enough to be his daughter? That's just deluded.

Friday night I was called "very harsh" by someone for saying it's a good thing that men like Dude in Denial probably won't reproduce. I stand by my statement.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. I can understand you not wanting to contact Dude, but Paul? Why not? You can't wait for perfect, you have to date people that have potential until you're convinced they aren't for you. Stop ruling people out before you really know them. He's worth a shot. Once you get to know him you can rule him out for whatever reason you choose.

  2. Anonymous, to be honest I don't think Precious Paul would give me the time of day. But a Facebook friend gave me the perfect line: "I'm not a Buick, I'm a curvy Corvette!" I might contact him just to use it.

  3. the second guy sounds awful but paul seems like he has potential...why not contact him? no one is have to let the little things go...everyone is entitled to one "mistake" in their profile

  4. I tried to leave a similar comment a few days ago and the system ate my post.

    I would suggest taking a break from the whole dating thing for a while. I suspect that you're not over JV and while you're angry/sad/frustrated/a whole bunch of other emotions with and about him, you're not going to recognize the perfect man if he fell over you (though falling over you would take him out of the realm of being perfect).

    Do something that's fun for you that has enthusiastic, serious fans. Shared enthusiasms are a great introduction. It's too late in the season now, but sailing enthusiasts are some of the nicest people I've met, and sailing is fun.

    Find an activity that you enjoy even alone and do it in a group. But take a rest from dating for a bit.

  5. there is too much banter back and forth, too much analysis, too much energy spent on each and every profile. All you have to write after you've been contacted is "nice profile - would you like to speak on the phone", have a 10 minute conversation and then arrange a place to meet. How many dates have you had from these websites over the past 2 months..if the answer is less than 3 than you are wasting your time. You have to get out there and meet people and stop analyzing everythg to death!

  6. Paul certainly seems less dreadful than Dude. But he still seems a little indiscreet about his craziness by my lights. It seems to me that there are two rules of thumb in a JWed/JDate profile:

    1. Don't whine too much about the opposite sex.
    2. Don't brag about yourself too much.

    Paul violates both. (Though in the interests of full disclosure, I note that I am under a conflict of interest here: I have a JWed profile myself under a different name, which I think is in substantial compliance with these rules).

  7. This is great .
    Woodrow if you are male -and in the my area why don't you ask ayelet out for coffee?
    Even if the two of you don't work out as a couple - you can hit the single scene together and share some laughs while u seek out mr mrs right?

  8. I'm still trying to figure out the difference between being married and living "in a marriage life situation."

    ---"Gloria Chang"

  9. THAT's the most baffling part of his profile to you, Gloria? You are truly a pure soul :) I think he's looking for a virgin and doesn't want to say that explicitly. Which gives rise, no pun intended, to a host of other speculations...