Friday, December 24, 2010

All the wrong guys like me

Remember the guy I ran into at the Chanuka party who remembered precisely when (February 2006) we went out (once)?

Got an email on Facebook from him today:

Precise Guy: how have you been?
Ayelet: eh, life sucks, what can you do? ;)
PG: You are telling me! Lol
A: ? Your girlfriend seemed very cute and sweet. I'm going to die alone! ;)
PG: We aren't together anymore :(

What a surprise.

A: sorry to hear that... better luck next time
PG: 5 months down the toilet
A: I know the feeling... my last relationship was 11 months... live and learn
PG: Wanna try again :)

Every time we get back in touch, he has to ask me out again. Well, not every time. Not in front of his girlfriend. (Well, sort of....) Periodically he always circles back. And I'm never interested. Why is he still interested? Hope springs eternal, I guess, and I had better crush it.

A: sorry, no
PG: k

It's not fair. Why can't a normal guy like me?
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

5 comments:

  1. "It's not fair. Why can't a normal guy like me?"

    "Everyday Normal Guys," are bland people, engaged in run-of-the-mill daily activities who have a peaceful simple nature.

    Ayelet: Are you sure you want a "normal" guy to like you?

    Are you even attracted to this type of 'guy?'

    Respectfully, my anecdotal guess is that you seek a more thrilling experience with a man who enjoys adventure, stimulating activities, who is well educated, and who challenges you.

    I further guess that many "normal" guys have liked you but you are not stimulated by them.

    Perhaps your question should be edited to: "Why can't a normal man like me?"

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  2. Probably. I always want men to be interesting. And the interesting ones are never interested in me. The real question is, "Why can't I like a normal man?"

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  3. thought you might find this interesting.makes me wonder if we should fight the urge this implies we have:
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21169522

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  4. Makes a lot of sense, Elizabeth. We're fascinated by puzzles and tormented by uncertainties. Probably this served some evolutionary survival value, but in the realme of dating I don't think it's helpful.

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  5. the question is, if we KNOW where we are irrational,
    a la Dan Ariely (author of 'predictably irrationa'l, and the 'upside of irrationality'), can we alter our behavior, in acknowledgment of the irrationality of our thoughts (the guy who is ambivalent about me is SOOO attractive)?
    I have tried some of the Ariely stuff, and it worked, but I would think it would be harder in dating situations to be rational. Ariely does report his stuff working for some very hard medical stuff he had to do on himself.
    will try to find a short report of it.
    happy new year!
    liza

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