Sunday, December 05, 2010

Anxious Ayelet

Had lunch today with Joan, a friend from social work school. Who happens to be BFF with the person who interviewed me for a job about a month ago. So I got to hear what he really thought of me.

I was apprehensive about asking. Did he think I was unethical? Abrasive? Racist? Any of the other negatives so liberally applied to me at my current job, some of which I deserve?

No, it was three other things:

1. He didn't like me presenting myself as a medication "expert." Good feedback. Will definitely downplay that in future interviews. I thought it was an asset; clearly it's not.
2. He didn't see me as "relatable" or as having much of a personality. I have so much personality that I deliberately hold back on interviews. I need to hold back a little bit less, and show why people like to talk about their problems with me.
3. I wanted too much money.

"Mainly the money thing," she told me. But it's good feedback nonetheless. And now I can stop waiting for that second interview call, for which I bought that second interview suit. Suppose it can be a first interview suit.

Joan also noticed that I seem very agitated these days. She was able to detect that while we were in school as well. "Can you take an Ativan or something before an interview?" she asked me. I told her that I carry Klonpin in my purse and take it before group. I should take it before every meeting and supervision as well.

Heard back from Eyal:

Any other things that you are used to? 

I don't even know how or if to answer that. Feels like I can't do anything right these days.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. Feedback is a gift. And don't beat up on yourself too much re this one--it sounds like it was mostly money. And you deserve to be decently paid. I know you were hoping for a ticket out of your current job but the right opportunity is out there for you! I know it. Happy Chanukah : )