Thursday, June 02, 2011

Ayelet overreacts again

Last week I got a Facebook email from a complete stranger:

Hi there, I am work with Dr. Jones and i am trying to win a wig. For religious reasons i need to cover my hair and wigs are pricey. There is a contest going on where I have a chance to win one and I am asking if you can help me out
All you need to do is:
1:click on this link and like their page (it will be on the top right corner)
2. Once you have done that, Please scroll down to where you see a wall post by me(Young Married Chick with Baby or YMCWB) and like that post
I would greatly appreciate it and if you can get some friends to help me out.
Thank you

Who the hell is YMCWB? I don't like being bothered by strangers. Especially those who are lucky enough to NEED to cover their hair and have children. I know she has children because her profile pic is a baby, and I assume that's not her.

So I wrote to Dr. Jones (she was on his friends list, as I was) and asked him to let her know that it's bad netiquette to bother people they don't know with crap like this. His response, in my opinion, was quite snippy. So I unfriended him. I don't need snotty little shnorrers reminding me that some people get married and have babies but apparently I don't. And if my friends don't understand that, they're not really my friends.

I heard again from Dr. Jones today:

So I was going to send you a message that the slightly annoying (but very nice, actually) co-worker of mine who was doing the wig contest and contacted you about it (without my knowledge) actually won the contest and the wig; thought you might be somewhat amused by that. Then I noticed that you must have unfriended me; not sure if that was the reason, but if it was, like I said, I had nothing to do with it and while I won't apologize for something I had nothing to do with, I regret if you felt the need to unfriend me because of it. (Of course, if there is a different reason, I'd be curious as to what that was.) Anyway, I'm not trying to get you to re-friend me- although I would certainly welcome it- and if you don't, then I wish you good luck and all the best.

I wrote back somewhat incoherently:

I thought what your friend did was very rude. I also didn't appreciate the snippy tone of your response. And I'm not amused that a woman who is married with a child and being socially inappropriate is winning contests, when my life completely sucks. I would buy a wig for myself if I needed one, were I so lucky as to need one, so I don't appreciate shnorrers who don't know how lucky they are coming to me with their hands out. And I don't want to visit foreign websites where I could possible get a virus or something to help out a total stranger who's done nothing for me. I turn 41 on Sunday, and I wasn't in the mood to have my privacy invaded.

He hasn't responded. Funny -- I was feeling great all day until I got his message. I probably overreacted, though.

1 comment:

  1. Ayelet, it makes complete sense that you would get upset when a girl who seemingly has everything you want asks for your help in attaining a symbol of those things in life that you crave. At the same time, let's be honest; you weren't mad because of her netiquette. You were upset because she reminded you of the most painful part of your life. It would have taken far far far less energy for you to have deleted her annoying email and rolled your eyes, but instead you sent an email, even though it was a situation that was unlikely to arise again.

    You're a therapist. Have you ever worked with someone who chose to put their pain on others rather than allow him/herself to experience it? You might consider trying to be mindful to your pain; to let yourself feel it and understand it rather than push it off and act as though your pain is the fault of the person who reminded you of it. Your pain is there without them; they just unknowingly brought it to the surface. And then Dr. Jones invalidated your reaction which added to it.

    So I totally get why that email upset you. At the same time, perhaps it would be helpful to trying and understand your feelings separately from your actions. Your feelings made sense. But your actions really didn't help to get you what you want or make the situation better. They simply created conflict.