Thursday, June 16, 2011

My first prostate exam

I've never had a prostate exam, because I lack a prostate, but my date tonight apparently has one and thought it would be appropriate to tell me about his first prostate exam -- at the hands of an unfortunately large-fingered physician. My expression must have registered somewhere between appalled and horrified, because he eventually stopped regaling me.

I'm not saying he's a bad guy. He seems very nice. Usually I expect coffee on a first date; he suggested dinner. The restaurant I chose had closed (RIP, Darna); he called me to let me know, and then called again to make sure I got his message (I hadn't; he called when I was in the shower and I didn't check my voicemail).

I'm just extremely unattracted to him. The prostate exam discussion really didn't help his cause. True, I talked about my first mammogram, but he brought up the subject, citing his sister-in-law who had a family history of breast cancer. She had to have mammograms every six months, and eventually underwent treatment. So I said that when I had my first mammogram, it wasn't as bad as I was led to expect it would be, but I still thought the tech should have bought me a drink first.

But mammograms aren't prostate exams. Or are they? Was he excessively escalating the intimacy level? I'm not sure. If I wasn't completely repulsed by him physically, I guess I'd go on a second date and see if tonight he was just nervous and off his game. However, my experience with Captain Best Effort taught me that if I'm completely repulsed by someone and also find him annoying, "giving it time" will only make me more angry and resentful. Which isn't fair to the guy. So no second date with Captain Prostate Exam. "Nice" just is not enough.

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