Sunday, October 02, 2011

Ayelet apologizes

One of my Facebook friends on my "real" Ayelet profile is a guy I haven't always been so nice to. Let's call him Happy Dad, since he's now married with beautiful children and seems reasonably content.

Back in 1993 I was set up with him. I did not find him attractive or interesting. So I kind of rushed out of the date. We went to a kosher Chinese restaurant near Columbus Circle, and although he seemed willing to take me home in a taxi, I said I'd be happy to take the subway. And when I heard the train pulling in to the platform, I literally ran to catch it. Away from him.

Over the years our paths crossed again and again. He was always friendly, gracious, and helpful. And I still wasn't always as nice to him as I could have been.

He got married in 2000, moved out of town, and when we both ended up on Facebook either I friended him or he friended me. Can't remember which. And he's been a very helpful FB friend. Every time I have a computer or technical question (he's a computer whiz) and post a question in my status update, he helps.

He also has answered some other timeless questions for me. Like why is Greek yogurt so thick and creamy (extra-long straining process), and what is the unique hydrocarbon in peaches that makes them so delicious (xanthophyll). I really love my peaches, and I appreciate arcane knowledge. By now, if I have a question that I post in my status update, I make sure to tag Happy Dad so that I know he'll help me find the answer.

He and his wife even let me know about a recent singles event in their suburban town, and said they'd love to see me sometime. So it's started to bother me that he's always been so nice to me and I haven't always been so nice to him. With Yom Kippur approaching, I decided it was time to apologize.

Dear Happy Dad,

I want to apologize to you. This is something that's been bothering me for a while -- especially since you've become my Facebook go-to guy for arcane information -- so in the spirit of the season, I apologize for not being very nice to you back in the day, when we were both single and living on the UWS.

There were many occasions when I could have been *much* nicer to you than I was, and instead I was just a little snot, which you did not deserve. I'm very, very ashamed of the way I acted toward you. I am so happy to see you with your beautiful family, because you deserve only good things. I hope you and your family gmar chatima tova and have a wonderful year.

Sincerely, Ayelet

As usual, his response was extremely gracious.

Wow, what you just did here is an immensely difficult thing to do. Before I say anything else I just want you know first how impressive thing it is to write what you just did.

I don't remember the exact date that we first met, but it was probably 18 or 19 years ago, so it's almost literally half a lifetime ago. Neither of us was the same person back then.

For what it's worth, even though we don't speak often, I get to read your thoughts regularly through Facebook, and it's been apparent to me that you have been changing over time, and apart from the obsession with fresh produce containing xanthophylls, I mean that in a positive way.

It is all water under the bridge for a long time now, and I wouldn't want you to carry around any shame about it for even one nanosecond longer.

And if there is anything I've done back in the day or recently where I behaved inappropriately please forgive me.

Wishing the best for you too, and were it not for the fact that we've been dealing with our oldest getting pneumonia and then fevers and diarrhea for the 3 weeks after that, we'd have gotten around sooner to reiterating that we'd love to have you by for a visit, singles event or no singles event.

Gmar chatima tova!

Again, incredibly nice and gracious. Which I was just too stupid to appreciate back in the day. I was tempted to invite myself over for Succot, but that's a 3-day yomtov coming very soon, so I just thanked him, wished his child a full recovery, and all of them a chatima tova.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. So, are you glad you ran away from him?

  2. No. But he's probably better off with the wife he has now ;)

  3. That was very gracious of you. Good start to a new year!