Saturday, October 01, 2011

Ayelet did something naughty

Right before Rosh Hashana, a friend of mine had a birthday. I could have just wished him happy birthday on Facebook (which is how I knew it was his birthday), but instead I decided to send him a picture of my breasts.

I took the picture back in 2009, while I was trying to entice Ivan the Terrible into being my friend with benefits. Before that revelatory night that led to a wasted 11 months of my life. I still had the pic, and I was feeling unattractive, and I knew this guy (let's call him nerdy-cute or NC; that was my assessment of him when I first saw him) is open to appreciating the charms of fuller-figured ladies, since his last girlfriend isn't exactly Twiggy.

So I sent him the photo from an email address he wouldn't recognize, with the subject line "happy birthday." He was pleased:

Thanks! Now the only two remaining questions are: whose are they and can I see them in person? lol

I decided to be coy:

Can't you guess? You've known me for years. I can't imagine you NEVER checked out my chest before ;)

But I'm not patient enough for coy. So I sent NC the pictures I took of the mole near my ass crack. (I have a very naughty married male friend with whom I share a probably inappropriate flirtation. When I told him the dermatologist biopsied the mole near my ass crack, he said, "I'd love to see that," and I obliged. What can I say, I'm starved for positive male attention.) This time I included a little message:

shana tova

Over Rosh Hashana I wondered how NC would respond. I imagined him rushing to his computer as soon as Shabbos was over so he could eagerly email me and ask who I was. This didn't happen. Since I am incapable of delaying gratification, and since I'm very lonely, I emailed him again:

still interested in a live viewing?

Gratifyingly, he responded:

Of course... and with another female friend! ;) Seriously though, I haven't seen you in over a year? Have you been to any of ET's karaoke events? 

How have you been otherwise? How's the new job? I follow your updates and like some of your posts, even though I don't actually 'Like' them. :)

PS. Shana tova to you too! :-)

NC refers to "another female friend" because a few years ago, while I was playing the game "Set" with NC, ET, and some others, I started making up a silly story about being seduced in college by a female Australian exchange student to throw ET and NC off their game. I got the idea from another friend, who only beat ET at Connect Four when she told him she was bisexual and started rating the attractiveness of the other girls in the room. My story didn't have much of an impact on ET, but it totally derailed NC. So I can see he's figured out whom the breasts belong to.

Clever boy! Well, it would depend on the female friend ;) Has it been over a year? I'm doing okay. The new job is good. The schedule still kind of sucks. I hate waking up at 5:30 a.m. But one of these days I'll be able to actually do something interesting after work. I like my co-workers, and I like the actual work. Heroin addicts are fascinating.

How have you been? And how did you like the other pictures I sent? I made sure to send some with a mark that could be used to identify me ;)

Kind of a joke, since obviously he's never seen that identifying mark before.

I tell you what, you can pick the female friend and if it doesn't work out, it's okay. I don't consider myself as a greedy person. ;)

Oh, I didn't notice the mark until you just told me. I'm sorry, but I was a bit distracted to notice it. :)

Sounds as though you're having fun! Yeah, early wake up calls suck. I have 8 am classes and the worst thing is when I'm up until 1 or 2 and have to get up at 6. I don't know about you, but I need at least 6 hours of sleep.

And I liked all the pictures you sent ;)

Now I feel pretty. Which pleases me.

Well, just let me know when and if you want to see everything in person ;) 

Hoping he would say, "What are you doing tomorrow?"

Oh, I definitely will! ;)

Is that the brush-off? I'll play it cool...

way to let me down easy ;)

Like it's no big deal. But he responded:
It's not a matter of 'if,' it's when! ;)

So I may have lined up a new friend with benefits, just in time for Yom Kippur.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

No comments:

Post a Comment