Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Not ready to forgive and forget AGAIN

I've had the best of intentions to blog about Succot in Crown Heights. Because it was truly amazing. But either I'm coming down with a change-of-seasons cold or partying in Brooklyn for three days really takes it out of me, because I've been absolutely exhausted since I got home Saturday night. I had RSVP'd for a social work professional association event on Sunday, and then I canceled because I felt too wiped out. Last night the most I could do after work was pick up the ingredients for my famous apricot kugel and take out the garbage. I will be very relieved after Simchat Torah is over and I can get back into my normal routine.

So I'm still too weary to blog adequately about the amazing time I had with The Kallah, Elah, Rochel, and several new friends I seem to have made in the Heights. I got several invitations to come back for Shabbos, which either means they really really liked me or they see me as outreach material. (If the latter, they're going to be very disappointed.)

I think I'll take them up on those invitations, though, because it's nice to be with Jewish families. If you live on the Upper West Side, you start to worry about the future of the Jewish people, because so many people aren't married and having children. Fear not, Jewish singles -- the other members of the tribe are picking up our slack out in the suburbs.

Anyway... I got this email from my sister today:

don't think this is really up your alley, but it is conveniently located (item 4) 

She sent me the email digest from her synagogue. Item 4 was a help wanted ad for a social worker at Dorot, an agency conveniently located about four blocks from my apartment.

Part of me thought I should respond politely to let her know that I have a job, but thanks for thinking of me. The rest of me remembered that every time I forgive her for pulling stupid crap, she just pulls more stupid crap. But I miss the kids, and she's not making it easy for me to see them without going through her. I thought I could visit with the kids on Sundays, but they're really not able to make plans for themselves just  yet. So I'm not sure what to do.

Did I mention I'm completely exhausted? I can barely think. I know I should try to get back in touch with Tikva's mother. I'm just embarrassed. I totally dropped them while I was dating Ivan the Terrible.

Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Don't worry about Tikva's mother. She is not the type to hold a grudge! We are around if you want to hang out w/us. May go to the women's kriya at RO on Simchat torah morning. And feel better soon!

  2. Failing to see the stupid crap pulled by your sister. She knows you have a long commute and thought you might like a job closer to home. What is stupid or crappy about that?

  3. You're missing the context, CA. My sister routinely mocks me in front of other people and makes promises that she then breaks, often incurring significant problems and expense for me. She's acting like none of the crap she's pulled in the past matters. When I think it does.

  4. Ok, I hear that, but what does that have to do with sending you a want ad about a job closer to you home?

  5. She's not apologizing for the things she's done to hurt me, she's pretending she didn't do anything wrong. As usual. And as if doing a teeny tiny nice thing for me now makes up for all the hurtful things she's done in the past.