Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Quick EG update, cuz I'm sick

I'm getting over bronchitis, which I know from past experience is a matter of waiting until I feel better. Today I feel much better than yesterday, and tomorrow I'm going back to work no matter what.

Waiting is what I'm supposed to employ regarding EG as well. That is, according to The Rules. I should let him know I'm available and wait for him to pursue me. But my horoscope has been saying the opposite -- that if I want romance I shouldn't be shy: So yesterday I sent EG an email on Facebook:

I should have taken you up on your offer 15 yrs ago, instead of being afraid... guess it's too late now

He called about five minutes later. "What offer?" he asked.

What do you mean, what offer? "You wanted to take me to the Bahamas," I said, "and I was too afraid to go. And I had another boyfriend."

"That was YOU?"

Apparently EG had never forgotten the night we spent together, or his efforts to win me over. But he had forgotten my name, and he didn't recognize me at this weight. (Ouch.) He thought I was someone from his more recent past -- a woman he'd dated around the time he met and married his wife. Not that long-lost woman who got away.

We had a really long talk, during which the following information came to light:

1. I told him, back in the day, that I had a mood disorder, and he wasn't put off. Still isn't.
2. I was probably hypomanic that night.
3. He had a feeling I rejected him because he doesn't perform oral sex.
4. He liked being married and misses the closeness and support it offered him, so he can go out and conquer the world anew each day.
5. While he's used to women who are very petite (his ex-wife is 4'11" and weighs 105; when he and I dallied, I was a little taller but not much weightier), he wants to see if he can develop an attraction to a different physical type. Maybe he can, maybe he can't.

We're getting together for coffee tonight, to talk more. And just talk. Not only because I'm sick, but because if this is going to work out, I need to not get physically involved with him. I know we want the same kind of relationship, and that we have similar values when it comes to lifestyle (or that he has values I'm willing to adopt). I also think that if we did get together, we could almost definitely make it work physically and have a good sex life. So there's no need for test runs now.

When I was younger, I was so worried about sexual compatibility that I rushed into sexual activity with men I was dating and totally ruined the relationship's emotional development. Hell, when I was dating CY last January I rushed into sex and ruined the relationship, although now I think that was for the best. So I'm not going to do that this time. I'm going to trust that we will make it work if we need to. I just hope he'll be able to work up some desire for me at this weight, because I'm trying to lose some but can't guarantee I'll be successful.

So wish me luck, readers. Tonight could be a very memorable cup of coffee. It's our second date. Hope it goes half as well as the last one.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. Things a beshert will not say:

    #37 - You remind me so much of my mother.

    #58 - I'm not looking for a serious relationship at the moment.

    #22 - Maybe I could work up an attraction to your physical type.

  2. I disagree with #22, Moondog. It's a myth that physical attraction is immediate and unchanging. There are many happily married people who weren't physically attracted to each other when they met. As their affection grew, so did their attraction.

  3. I don't know why a highly educated professional woman would look to, let alone cite, a horoscope for any advice. They serve an entertainment purpose, but that's about it. It seems you're undermining yourself again. So, here goes.

    Gemini: Avoid grasping for a flimsy basis to make a choice in romance that you know deep down is not the right one. As for your prior bad choices, own up to them; don't make excuses but don't beat yourself over the head, either.