Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Hit the road, Jake

Jersey Jake finally got back to me today:

So sorry its been a while since Ive followed up. I had to rush to queens to help a friend that slipped on a train platform in philly & broke his arm by the elbow. Very painfiul + therapy.
Out of sight is not out of mind though. Howve you been?

I spoke to my friend Rochel, the dating coach, and she was as outraged as I was. Seriously, Jake? You take twelve days to respond to me AGREEING to have coffee with you? Did you break your arm on the train platform as well -- is that why you couldn't email me back?  

And he's been unemployed for more than two years -- maybe because he's a total flake?

I need someone reliable. Ivan the Terrible had one foot out the door for our entire relationship. He flaked on me, too. One day he's looking at houses and wedding halls with me, the next he's saying, "I realized on Tuesday that I do not want to be married..."  I can't do that again.

Jersey Jake has proven himself unreliable. I don't need the stress of wondering after every date whether he'll call, if we'll go out again, what he thinks of me. His little "out of sight is not out of mind" comment strikes me as highly manipulative. Please, don't lose interest, Ayelet, even though I haven't acted like I'm really interested in you! I'm really, really still interested in you! Really!

Not. I've blocked him on Facebook and email. This is the end of the road for Jersey Jake.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Jersey Flake

I know, it's been forever. Work has been very complicated, and I haven't wanted to blog about it, or anything else. I'm still debating whether to blog about a nice but decidedly odd man I went out with twice. But I wanted to update you on Jersey Jake.

Out of nowhere, apropos of nothing, JJ emailed me on 1/18/12:

Hi! I hope you are well. I should have followed up with you & sent this ages ago. I'm sorry I didn't. 

Would you like to have coffee sometime? 

Good shabbos, Jake

Well, better late than never, I thought. So I waited a day (as per The Rules), and wrote back:

Sure, I'd love to have coffee. When?

And... silence. According to The Rules, you shouldn't get entangled in long email exchanges. You should be friendly but brief and to the point, so you can move from email to phone to date.

But it's been four days and JJ hasn't responded. What's up with that??
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Attack of the 58yos on SuperTova

I'm getting too much attention on SuperTova from gross old men. First was a 59-year-old, who wrote me:

i am better then nothing try who knows

No, you're not better than nothing. I politely responded

no thank you

hoping he would leave well enough alone. But of course he didn't.

to bad for you not interested anymore bye

I recognize that's a pathetic inability to cope with reality. But I was disgusted and incensed, so I wrote:

I was never interested. You're a disgusting old pervert.

And I blocked him from contacting me and complained. SuperTova's CEO suggested I set my age blockers, which I tried to do and couldn't; as soon as I left the page it reverted to defaults. So I got an even more disgusting email:

U look great in red... but go to the gym daily, it will do only good to u...

What would do him good? A lobotomy? Rabbi Zohar suggested a response:

Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately, once I lose the 5 pounds to attract you, you won't be able to lose the 18 years you have on me.

I just left it alone and blocked him, too.

This afternoon I got yet another contact from a 58yo. At least he didn't tell me he was better than nothing or give an opinion about my weight; he just sent me a Tova-Flirt, the site's version of a "Wink" or standardized way to signal interest. I blocked him immediately.

They say you get what you pay for, and SuperTova is free. I'm starting to wonder whether it's worth it. I have never gotten a date from it, just unwanted attention from disgusting men or disdain from attractive men who ignore my contacts. Maybe I should just delete my profile.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Best. Heter. EVER.

Yesterday I had off from work but went to Chinatown anyway to the new rehab/pain management practice I've been trying. They offer a combination of physical therapy, acupuncture, and massage. I got massage, ultrasound, stretching, and acupuncture. Today I got PAIN. So I'm home from work, taking ibuprofin, rubbing in liniment, and stretching. Fortunately I didn't have anything major scheduled at the office.

Not sure if I'll be going back, and not just because of the pain. The doctor told me a million different ways that my main problem was my dire need to lose weight. The fact that my knees didn't hurt until the damn personal trainer injured them seemed moot. The physical therapist I saw yesterday told me I don't have runner's knee, I have jumper's knee -- patellar tendinitis -- but it shouldn't be bothering me six years later. Nobody seems to know what's wrong or how to fix it.

So I'm home, stewing. I had an interesting conversation over the weekend with some Facebook friends I've never met in person. One of those multi-person email/IMs that are now possible. And the topic of Jewish women who've had sex with non-Jews arose. (I didn't broach it.) Apparently, there's a heter that if you used a condom during said sexual activity, you're not an isha zona.

I called a learned friend of mine, and he says it's a valid heter. Guess I can start dating Cohanim, because I'm darn sure I always used a condom with casual sex partners, no matter how hypomanic I was.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"