Sunday, March 18, 2012

Jwed update

After I asked whether he'd be willing to have more children, Monsieur Restauranteur wrote back to me:

If there is love I will be ready for everything
And God wants to be a child then also 

Okay, fine. Before I could respond, he sent another email:

My name is MR and I very much would like to get to know you.
I am a partner and a manager at a restaurant in Manhattan 
I am a simple person looking for one serious woman.
I dont like nor have the time to write emails so here is my phone number 917-xxx-xxxx.
I would be very happy to hear from you or if you'd like then you're very welcomed to stop by my restaurant for breakfast or just for a coffee.
Thank you

Hmmm. So I called today, and we chatted for a bit ... and I'm a little concerned.

First of all, it's not a kosher restaurant. I'm not sure why that bothers me. I doubt he'd try to force me to eat the cured ham/mascarpone sandwich on his menu; on his profile, I read:

I am Shomer Shabat pray 3 times a day, keeps Kosher and fully observe all Jewish Holidays.

But it's still a little weird. (For the record, I checked out some customer reviews of his restaurant, and the consensus seems to be great food/lousy service. Also not great.)

Second, he said he's very lonely. "I don't have a family, I don't have a friend -- I have like one or two friends," he said.

"How long have you lived in the US?" I asked. (He's from Israel. Another red flag, kinda.)

"Three years. Everybody is busy, everybody is working, everybody have a family... It's not easy for me to connect with Americans. Only in the work, people I know in the work."

So... he's lonely, he has no friends, his children live in Israel... no wonder he wants to fall in love with someone. I can't blame him -- I'm lonely too -- but I'm still concerned. Yes, I've been in New York longer than three years, but I have more than two friends.

He also didn't ask me out. He kind of made me ask him out. I didn't want to spend a lot of time on the phone before we met; I've learned through experience that it's not a good use of my time. So I said I needed to get going....

"Okay," he said. "You can call me anytime. To make plans, or just to talk...."

I have dozens of people I can call or IM "just to talk." I'm not going to waste time doing that with someone I barely know.

"Why don't we make plans now?" I asked. So we did. He let me choose the time and place, and we're having dinner Tuesday night.

I don't have high hopes. But I also don't have anything else going on. Julius and Geoffrey, whom I emailed off the site because their profiles are suspended, didn't get back to me. Neither did any of the guys I emailed on Jwed. I sent a nice "no thank you" to UK Bloke. 

On March 6 on another dating site -- a free site -- I heard from a 49-year-old without a profile photo:

i agree ur cute. i can offer you coffee, and let u make the conversation (joking).

Not impressive, but I thought I'd give him a chance:

Funny ;) Do you have a picture?

Of course he doesn't. And it took him 12 days to answer me. Today he wrote:

i don't have anything recent. is that big white guy in your pic a previous boy friend? i see why you broke up with him.

Not wasting any more time on him.

The "big white guy" in the picture is a stuffed polar bear (not a real one -- just a life-size toy) that I posed with in Ketchikan, Alaska during my cruise in 2009. I'm thinking of going back this summer with some different friends. Alaska is incredibly gorgeous, cruises are incredibly decadent, and if I don't hook up with any charming cads, it could be a really wonderful vacation.

And right now I need something to look forward to. My commute is horrific, my job has become 99% paperwork (which won't help me get my LCSW), and I'm constantly exhausted and miserable. The only good thing is saving lots of money, because I'm too exhausted to go out during the week (even on weekends I'm usually recuperating) and I'm not interested in buying clothes or jewelry, since I'm not wearing a tenth of what I already own. (No time to accessorize at 5:20am.)

I'm so busy running to doctors (saw my psychiatrist who wants me to go to my GP for blood work, saw my knee specialist who wants me to go twice a week for physical therapy -- AS IF I HAVE TIME TO FIND A GOOD THERAPY PRACTICE CLOSE TO HOME and energy to plan, need to go to the dentist) that I don't have the cognitive ability to plan anything that isn't absolutely necessary, not even some nice pampering experiences, like a massage or a facial. I'm too shredded.

So why not go on another fabulous vacation? I deserve it.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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