Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I won, so why am I still mad?

A few weeks ago I wrote about being denied a place on my professional organization's substance abuse treatment committee. I hadn't heard anything, so I emailed the official to ask for an update.

Hi Ayelet -- I haven't heard anything back. I will contact the President and when she can, she'll get back to you.

Today I got a not-quite-contrite email from Narrow-Minded Twit:

Dear Ayelet,

Your letter about your concerns about the substance abuse committee has been forwarded to me.

I am working on the formation of this committee with KK, NYC Chapter president and LO, NYC Chapter treasurer. We got an enormous response to our notice of this new committee. We have decided to begin with a study group to be meeting once monthly for six months. Everyone who responded with interest is invited. If you would like to join this study group please let me know. I did not invite your earlier because I had the impression that a group with a focus on integrating psychotherapy theory and practice with treatment of addiction was not the group you were looking for.

Your point of view and population is important. It could be the focus of a new committee within the Met Chapter. There is also a new committee on trauma which is now forming. If you are interested in these opportunities please contact KK.

I'll keep you posted on the progress of the formation of the study group. We are currently negotiating for space.

Narrow-Minded Twit, LCSW

I don't know why I'm so angry, when I got what I wanted. Aside from the fact that she's lying through her teeth when she says "I had the impression that a group with a focus on integrating psychotherapy theory and practice with treatment of addiction was not the group you were looking for." That was exactly the group I was looking for.

Addicts lie; clinicians who treat addicts shouldn't. Another damn lie: "Everyone who responded with interest is invited." Because she gave me the distinct impression that others were going to be invited but I shouldn't expect to be.

It's true that the professional organization could start a forensic or re-entry committee as well as substance abuse, but substance abuse is much more basic, and I want to be a part of that.

Or do I? Do I even care? All I do at my job is review treatment plans, audit charts, and refer people elsewhere for actual treatment. I have again managed to seriously piss off my supervisor, and it's only partly her fault. I'm not getting LCSW hours, and I feel like my career is never going to go anywhere. Like my pathetic personal life.

I didn't write back to NMT; I was angry and wanted to cool down. Tomorrow I'll send her something gracious, with not a hint of vindication.

In other news: I decided not to go out with Monsieur Restauranteur when he cancelled a few hours before the date, leaving a voicemail suggesting I just stop by his restaurant because he really wanted to meet me. If he really wants to meet me,  he will have to try harder. I also got two blatant indecent proposals on Jwed. Once again, renewing my subscription was a waste of money. When will I learn?

I tried passion flower supplements, which are supposed to be Nature's benzodiazepines, and ended up sick in bed for several days. Nausea, stomach cramps that felt like I was being wrung out like a rag, palpitations. Withdrawal. I'm fine now; saw Dr. Cool and Dr. R, and I won't take those again.

After the MRIs and X rays showed that there's nothing visibly wrong with my knees, I was referred to a very pricey acupuncturist. I hope that means she's good. I'll start seeing her next week.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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