Thursday, April 05, 2012

"When Moshiach comes, women will want to date older men"

Obviously not a direct quote from me. It was written as part of a feverish exchange of comments in one of my Facebook "single & Jewish" groups (I belong to about 6). Starting with the post:

Girl #1: you mean this is a group for both men AND women in their 40s and 50s? You mean there are actually guys who are 40 or 50 who are actually open to dating women the same age? ... is Moshiach here or was there some kind of error?

The first commenter showed some common sense:

Normal Guy: We are ready, willing, and most of us are able!

The next commenter... not so much.

Dickhead: Why should a woman want a man her own age? It makes no sense. A wise woman who wants to marry should stop complaining and date the chronologically older, mature men, who thinks she's an awesome hot young chick! Those men are everywhere. However old a woman is there is always an older gent who thinks she is a gem!

You all know my policy about dating much-older men, so I weighed in:

Ayelet: Yes, a gem who can change his Depends and chauffeur him around to doctor's appointments. No thank you.

Another girl followed suit:

G#2: Just askin', Dickhead. Actual age is not a huge factor for me. Emotional age is far more important. Wondering how the other half you think you're representative of your gender?

He does.

Dickhead: Men want someone younger. Women want someone their age. That's the problem in a nutshell. If either would change, we'd all be married.

Technically he's right, but why shouldn't men become more reasonable?

Ayelet: So of course women should change.
Dickhead: Of course women will complain about men.

Don't change the subject, dickhead.

G#2: Of course. Everyone knows men are far more stubborn.
Ayelet: Of course men NEVER give us cause for complaint ;)
Dickhead: and complain. It's always our fault.

In this case, yes it is.

Ayelet: Not being willing to date people your own age? Yes. That's your fault. You do realize that the other women in the group are going to read this and think you're not willing to date them, don't you? Unless you were hoping we'd fix you up with our daughters and nieces ;)

I think that hit a nerve.

Dickhead: Yes, beat up on the men. I won't be in the group much longer. Leave you women to complain about men
G#2: Is there an echo in here?

I like her.

Ayelet: Once again, post comments are proving to be a valuable screening tool ;)
G#2: You said it, sister.
Dickhead: Yes who wants a bitter woman

Who wants a dickhead?

G#2: You still here?

I really like her!

Ayelet: G#2, I hope this is the last Pesach you and I are wandering in this desert :)
G#2: Amen. May we dance at one another's wedding.
Ayelet: Amen. With husbands who DON'T need walkers! ;)
Dickhead: Picky picky picky picky.

He just gets more and more attractive, doesn't he?

G#2: And after all that, I'm still a hopeless romantic...
Ayelet: Not all men are blockheaded, G#2 ... despite recent evidence.

And one of them proved me right.

NG: I think it's ridiculous when I go to an event for singles in their 40-55 age range and there are 20 women and 3 men. I'm sure there are societal reasons for this phenomenon but I just don't get it. The closer people are in age the more commonalities there can be for a true bonding.....
Ayelet: The men in their 50s won't consider dating women in their 40s. MUCH too old for them! ;)

And that's what led to the title of this post:

Dickhead: When Moshiach comes women will want to date older men. Until then age-equivalent events will draw more women than men

I wasn't the only one floored by that statement.

NG: The blame is totally on the men!
Dickhead: It's always the men's fault. Women are blameless. Just ask them

Or ask a Normal Guy.

NG: I am being serious. I know soooo many men who would never consider dating an older woman, let alone someone their own age. Women are much more flexible and realistic in this regard!

This is what I'm up against in the dating world. However, I'm now considering going out with Normal Guy. He asked me a while ago, but the 10-year age gap made me hesitate. But he's shown himself to be a decent guy, not just in this exchange but in other comments. I emailed him and he apparently has a pretty thick skin. We're going to talk again after the holiday.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. good luck! let us know how it goes? of course, u could always consider a younger guy, too - my dh's younger than me by 7+ yrs & we're together 14 yrs & counting, B"H!
    Hadassa posting on his acct - cuz I ain't got 1!

  2. Halevai, Hadassa ;) I'm so happy to hear of your happy marriage. At this point, I just hope I find someone I can love & admire, who cherishes and respects me.

  3. Just pointing out that unless you plan on divorcing someone before they hit around 70, you will eventually have to change someone's Depends and chauffer them around. And if you, God forbid, you get sick at any age, he's supposed to do the same for you.

  4. CA, if a spouse gets sick or gets old, that's one thing. But it's unfair to expect that a young woman would want to prematurely yoke herself to a man who's much closer to incapacitation than she is. I get the feeling that no matter what I say, you want to disagree because you have an overwhelming need 1) to be right 2) to put others in their place. Don't you have better things to do?