Friday, May 25, 2012

Dr. Down in the Mouth

Why are dentists depressed? Because they're always down in the mouth. A friend of mine introduced me to a gentleman in Rome, a dentist I'll call Dr. Down in the Mouth (DITM). She said he was very nice and interested in getting married. Since I respect those qualities, I decided to get to know him. But very soon after we started chatting, I noticed that he's even more negative than I am.

Dr. DITM: ciao Ayelet,
I got your name from Jenna, and im really impressed that you want to talk to me.. I LIVE AT THE SEASIDE OF rome, so not near you.. lol
tell me more about you. i thought you have a daughter, do you work at NYU?
ciao e un bacio, DITM

Ayelet: ciao DITM -- no, I have no children. I work in a methadone clinic, which is very interesting. Jenna told me you were a very nice guy, so I wanted to meet you 

Dr. DITM: Jenna is a liar

Why would he say that?

A: why would you say that?

Dr. DITM: hahah
because she doesnt know me personally
and in english there are different meanings for nice
in italian u can say 2 words for nice phisically and nice as personality etc
so nice to meet you Ayelet

A: nice to meet you, DITM

Dr. DITM: so you work in a rehab clinic as i understand

A: kind of

Dr. DITM: in italy they give metadone in facilities and ppl take it home

A: same here; some people have to come in every day to take their dose, others get to take some home

Dr. DITM: understand
so why do you want to relocate may i ask?
i wanted to move to us many years ago then i gave up
too complicated with visas and boards etc

Well, it’s not like I’m just looking to move because I'm bored.

A: I want to get married -- if I have to relocate, then I will
as your Signor Machiavelli said, the ends justify the means 
Dr. DITM: lol fine giustifica i mezzi
yes but this sentence is weird
many dictators and criminals used it

A: of course
it can be seen as ruthless

Dr. DITM: how old are you if i may ask?

A: almost 42, how old are you?

Dr. DITM: 43, soon 44 -- old man

A: you're only as old as your knees

Dr. DITM: actually i was looking for a woman of 25

I suppose he’s trying to be funny.

A: yeah, lots of men your age are

Dr. DITM: my knees are old as well
you call it soccer
we call it football

A: I'm dealing with a knee injury, but I think I finally found the right treatment; it's been painful for years, but finally starting to get better

Dr. DITM: have u ever been in rome?
its a wonderful city to visit
much less to live

Why would he tell me that?
A: no, never, I"d love to visit
why isn't it a nice place to live?

Dr. DITM: i got enough of here
theres a huge recession, the city is overwhelmed with people.. pollution traffic taxes cost of life

A: you're not exactly selling me on moving there 

Dr. DITM: oh no
im sorry
but to visit you are very welcome!

A: thanks 

Dr. DITM: have to run now, we talk later

A: that's ok -- ttys

Wasn’t sure I wanted to. I don't need to be with a Debbie Downer type. I need an optimist to counteract my own pessimistic tendencies. 

This morning I started to organize a birthday celebration for myself. I didn’t invite all my FB friends, but I told them to invite themselves if they wanted to come. Dr. DITM sent me a message:

Dr. DITM: i wish i could come..its depressing being far;((
long time i dont go to a party

Does he not have a life? Red flag.

A: sorry you can't make it 

Dr. DITM: dont tease me

Uh. . . I wasn’t?

Dr. DITM: in my life i didnt make to many things
but ok
if you come here well do a brunch
i should buy a small bbq to make it into my small balcony

A: how do you and your friends celebrate your birthdays?

Dr. DITM: well,
some people dont celebrate
others go to a restaurant or pizza
not easy at my age.. my friends have family and children
so its not easy to organize an evening out

Boy do I know what that’s like. But not all of my friends are encumbered.

A: pizza must be pretty good in Rome 

Dr. DITM: its excellent, but i have to be careful since i have some problems -- high colesterol and trigliceryds
and the problem is specially cakes
yesterday i was at a sort of meeting for elecyions at the jewish community
i had a small piece of homemade tirami su i felt bad
ishoukld eat just salad bread..rice crackers
and fish
miserable life
because i love pasta and pizza

He sounds pretty miserable. I realize this may sound hypocritical, but I do not need to be with someone who’s miserable. I really don’t.

A: life isn't worth living without good food 

Dr. DITM: yes
but even a heart attack is not worthy
specially for someone who is not completed
in a family etc

I know what he means. But I just met the guy. Why is he complaining and moping like this to me? It seems really pathetic.

Dr. DITM: this year i think i wont celebrate
i hate my age
and its not time to invite 15 people and pay the rerstaurant

I don’t like my age either, but I don’t complain about it to someone I just met. I’ve been on dates with men like this before – and they end up feeling like therapy sessions.

A: you seem very unhappy about a lot of things

Dr. DITM: yes ;( sorry
last year was better
people seem not happy general
i see that also at my patients

A: I always thought Italians were so happy

Dr. DITM: all complaining for their health the lack of money..taxes
no way
we almost risked bankrupcy

A: the whole country?

Maybe it’s not just him.

Dr. DITM: and the govt saved the country by killing us with taxes

A: I did see an article not too long ago that a lot of Italians were committing suicide

Dr. DITM: that affected all economy
specially mine
that im private

A: sorry to hear that

And really, really no longer interested in dating you.

Dr. DITM: people dont come like before they have no money
so u know that
of course there are exceptions
like the ppl i went yestdray
they have a beautiful penthouse in rome near st peters
rich jews
wonderful family
i dont know them well i was invited by another friend
they presented a lost of candidate for the board of the italian jewish comunity
all women, lol

A: good 

Dr. DITM: yes
unfortunately for me all married

I can’t take it. He’s the Italian Eeyore.

A: listen, I need to get going -- I have an appointment

Dr. DITM: hahah

A: ?

Dr. DITM: dont you work today?

A: I'm home on medical leave
I'm dealing with some knee problems

Dr. DITM: oh yes u told me
im sorry

A: it's okay

Dr. DITM: u have a visit at a doctor?
A: yes, chiropractor, and I have to take the temporary disability paperwork to my other doctor

Dr. DITM: oh ok
in italy we dont have chiropractors
but its a great thing
so is that bad that u cannot walk?

A: after years of going to doctors and surgeons, he's the first to understand what's really going on
I can walk but it's painful

Dr. DITM: years? im sorry
is it a form of arthirtis?

A: no, not arthritis - it's complicated
but it's being resolved

Dr. DITM: great im happy

I don’t think so.

A: thanks

Dr. DITM: and u had surgery in the past?

A: no, thank God

Dr. DITM: i did
for my soccer
someone hit badly with the tip of needle shoes
my left knee
and went 90 degrees alsmost my leg

A: ouch! glad you're better

Dr. DITM: oh it was 15 years ago
now my concern is my cholesterol
and my small hypertension
thsi together with all the situation made me a bit depressed
being aware that the age is getting
where it wants

I’m not getting sucked into a pity party.

A: maybe you should talk to a therapist

Dr. DITM: ths strange thing is that i dont look bad or fat at all
well i did in the past
not that big deal

A: you just seem really sad

to be honest i broke with a woman some month ago and that didnt help
but thats another story

And one I do NOT want to hear.

A: been there
well, have a good day

Dr. DITM: hahah
thank you
do u get fb on phone?
write id be happy
if u have time

Sorry. I don't have time for someone else's sorrow. Especially someone that dumps it on a person they just met. I'm going to let Jenna know this guy has issues.

Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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