Thursday, January 10, 2013

Struggling

Seasonal affective disorder, like other kinds of depression, makes everything much harder to accomplish. Thinking. Brushing teeth. Showering. Getting dressed. Getting a manicure. Supervising 16 counselors and trying to provide social services for a ridiculous number of patients. Facilitating groups. Especially facilitating groups. That is a struggle when I'm feeling completely well, and now it's verging on torture.

So why did I volunteer to give a d'var Torah at a singles dinner tomorrow night? I dunno. I gave one last year that was well received, but I gave it in November right after the time change, not January, when I'm mired deep in depression.

Scanning the Torah portion and reading other divrei Torah online almost sent me into a panic. I couldn't relate to anything the writers were saying. I wanted to be funny yet trenchant, but nothing came to mind. Then I sat down, wrote an initial sentence, and flowed back into creative mode. Even though I'm in my underwear and I need to take a shower, I wrote a kick-ass dT. Not just my opinion but that of the friends I showed it to. (Email me if you want a copy.)

So even when I'm Harrison Bergeron, I'm pretty damn awesome. Screw the agency that interviewed me in  December and never called back. It's their loss.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

1 comment:

  1. You are awesome, even in January. Perhaps especially inJanuary.

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