Sunday, June 30, 2013

Judgmental - or a good judge of character?

Out of the blue I got an email on Facebook:

Saw you on shomer singles!

I'm still in that group, although no longer entirely shomer mitzvot. I guess my reasoning is that I could go back to that lifestyle for the right person. So I looked at his profile. Let's call him Obnoxious Guy, or OG.

OG's profile picture shows a woman in a car with an enormous dog. Other pictures he's uploaded include a charming photoshopped version of James Holmes (who shot up a theater full of people watching a Batman movie) in court wearing googly eyeball glasses with springs attached. Unimpressed, I looked at some of his status updates:

BTW....US Supreme Ct just YESTERDAY shot down CA law banning gay marriage in CA.....

I wanna marry....MY DOG, MY GOLDFISH....

MY FB PROFILE!!!!!


Clearly I have nothing in common with this person. So when he sent me a friend request, I deleted it. And soon I heard from him:

may I ask why u rejected the friend req???

Why not be honest? 

I was happy when DOMA was struck down, and you equate gay marriage with bestiality. I don't think we have much in common. Also, I have no idea what you look like from your profile pic.

He's determined not to let me off that easy.

NO....I don't....I'm just asking what's next...If u wanna c a pic of me...just ask...
BOTH r forbidden by the Torah, btw....
ALSO....why can't ppl have diff opinions & STILL be fb friends...
I'm not asking for marriage nor even a date....


And I'm not in the mood to be nice.

I have no idea who you are, but so far I haven't seen anything that would make me want to be friends with you. Also, equating homosexuality with bestiality is just obnoxious. I know both are forbidden by halacha, but that doesn't mean they're equivalent.

Looking at that, a few days later, it does seem a bit harsh. Even though bestiality involves lack of informed consent, whereas homosexuality does not. OG certainly thought I was too harsh:

OF CRSE...feel free to reject my friend req....whatever makes you HAPPY....
GOOD SHABBOS


I didn't respond, but that didn't stop him.

I did NOT equate them....PLEASE do NOT put words in my mouth...

IF...u can NOT tolerate my posts/ my HONEST opinions...
GOOD LUCK TO YOU....

BLOCK EVERYONE who does not share yr opinions...
whatever makes you HAPPY....
GOOD SHABBOS

Later he continued:

Well....BOTH are forbidden by the Torah...

Maybe I SHOULD equate them....though I did not mean to b4!!!

How do I attract these idiots? But he struck a nerve.

I don't block people who don't share my opinions, and a lot of my friends have different opinions from me. But I didn't know anything about you until I looked at your profile, and nothing I saw there made me think we'd have anything in common.

Actually, he and I have 31 friends in common. And when I went back to his profile, I saw pictures of him and recognized him as a fat little 50something who's contacted me on several dating sites. Everything he's said has reinforced my confidence in my judgment.

OH....ur such an accepting person...
What am I, a MARTIAN???....
I GIVE UP...


Sarcasm. Nice. You're not a martian, you're just an ugly little man inside and out. And yes, please do give up. I'm not interested.

OG stopped emailing me, and instead started ruminating.

It's VERY EASY to judge someone w/ a prob that WE do NOT have....

What's harder is to imagine how they feel dealing w/ OUR judgment/contempt/disrespect...!


I love how these unattractive and completely unappealing men complain about being rejected by attractive women. And sadly, he's the only man who's expressed any interest in me in weeks.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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