Monday, August 26, 2013

Unoriginal Roger

On June 24, 2013, I got an email from a lackluster man named Roger on a dating website.

ShalomHi, there! I couldn't help but notice you. You seem to be a sweet, sincere, dedicated, sensitive, lovely, attractive, and beautiful lady. I'd like to know more about you. If you'd like, you can tell me what time you are normally online so that we can chat at that time or you can send me your skype name, messenger ID, and/or phone number so that we can chat with each other whenever we are both available. In the meantime, I'll wait for your reply. Have a nice day!

He was lackluster, as I said, so I didn't respond.

Recently I changed my profile picture. And guess what happened?

ShalomHi, there! I couldn't help but notice you. You seem to be a sweet, sincere, dedicated, sensitive, lovely, attractive, and beautiful lady. I'd like to know more about you. If you'd like, you can tell me what time you are normally online so that we can chat at that time or you can send me your skype name, messenger ID, and/or phone number so that we can chat with each other whenever we are both available. In the meantime, I'll wait for your reply. Have a nice day!

Whatever...
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Dear Devona Dragon: I'm not an alumna of The Bad Place. Thank God.

I got a strange email recently from Dr. Dragon's email address:

Dear Dr. Survivor,

I hope this email finds you well! I am writing to ask if you could take five minutes to complete the Annual Alumni Questionnaire, the link to which is pasted below. Completion of the questionnaire ensures the clinical program's continued accreditation. Your help with this as soon as possible would be greatly appreciated!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/wtfwtfwtf

Best,

Devona Dragon's Whipping Girl
Clinical Program Coordinator

Curious, I clicked on the survey. It's basically trying to determine how many of their alumni are actually working in the field. Unlike one Bad Place PsyD I recently met who went back to her original career of financial management, and another who keeps getting certifications in different skills because she can't find a job as a psychologist.

Unfortunately I couldn't take it and skew their results. But I could respond to Devona. What would I say to her, seven years after she and her faculty abused and tried to destroy me?

Dear Devona,

Apparently you don't remember, but I withdrew from The Bad Place in 2006 after you and some of your faculty—Dr. Jack Jerk, Dr. Stinky Octopussy, and Dr. Stupid Stone—exerted horrendous abuse of power against me. You met with me in groups, two or three of you against me, without allowing me an advocate for support or to contest your assertions. Jack Jerk told vicious lies about me during faculty meetings, which you did not even bother to verify. (I did; I asked several adjunct professors and students if what he said about me was true, and they all agreed it was not).

Stinky Octopussy accused me of having loose boundaries, when, at a lecture with Dr. Bob Leahy, I asked how he would respond to my struggle with excruciating knee pain. As I later learned from a Bad Place PsyD grad who attended another of his lectures, Bob loves when people give him personal examples of their struggles; it's a great way for him to demonstrate his technique. I don’t think he would have hugged me at the end of the lecture if he didn’t appreciate my openness and candor.

After I left The Bad Place, I obtained my MSW and began working in the field of substance abuse. I now supervise 16 counselors in a major hospital’s substance abuse program, overseeing clinical and social service care for more than 800 patients. (That recent Bad Place PsyD grad? She’s still unemployed.)

You may wish to remove my email address from your mailing list.

Sincerely,

Ayelet Survivor, MA, LMSW

Living well isn't the best revenge. Professional success despite opposition is.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

My email to Dr. Phil

The always asinine Dr. Phil recently insulted people with mental illness:

[In a] Dr. Phil episode called Obsessed With Love, which focused on a 19-year old girl named Victoria, he brushed off her worries by declaring that her obsession did not mean that she was "insane" because insane people "suck on rocks and bark at the moon."

Naturally, I had to write him about this.

I am a clinical social worker who also has a master's degree in psychology. I have bipolar disorder type 2. I have never sucked rocks or barked at the moon. Your remarks were hurtful, untrue, and -- because of your international platform -- extremely stigmatizing. I request that you apologize for that insensitive statement and remind your viewers that is possible to have a productive and satisfying life even if you have a mental illness. Sincerely, Ayelet Survivor, MA, LMSW

Not really expecting a response.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Half my age (Warning: Graphic sexual content)

Things are very unpleasant at work. I have the respect and admiration of almost everyone there -- except my supervisor and one clinic manager. Which has me in hot water with administration. Unfairly -- I'm not going to go into details; but everyone EXCEPT my supervisor, one boneheaded counselor, and one really nasty clinic manager thinks I'm the best social worker the clinics have ever had and I'm doing a fantastic job.

Unfortunately, their opinions don't count as much as the supervisor and clinic manager. I've been called for a meeting with the higher-ups and have been advised to bring a union delegate. They told me this on a Friday for a Tuesday meeting, to spoil my weekend. I've been waking up with anxiety attacks

Fortunately, I have two very powerful delegates on my side -- a fellow social worker who's defended more cases than Alan Dershowitz and a very savvy counselor with a long history of winning union and legal cases against this and other administrations. They're both going to support me through this.

I don't want to write about it. So I'm going to write about something that happened last December. I've mentioned it to a few friends and they've clamored for details.

I was feeling lonely, bored, fat, repulsive, and incredibly horny. I hadn't had sex in almost a year, and my last date had been a total disaster. Trying to think of something that would cheer me up and boost my ego, I thought, "I should find a nice young guy who likes curvy cougars and bang him to stoke my ego."

Where do you find a guy like that? Craigslist. So on Christmas Day I posted an ad:

Hot 42yo seeks barely legal you!

Sexy cougar looking for a naughty little cub to use for my pleasure. Clean, d/d free, 5'1", DANGEROUS curves, long dark hair, dark eyes, fair skin.

Within about an hour I had more than 90 emails, and they kept pouring in. I had to take down the ad. Most responses contained pictures of boys in their underwear or less, ranging in age from 19 to 28. And they were all hottttt. I can't post pictures, but I'll post a few of the responses:
  • I'm 24, 5'11", 160 pounds, great face, great body. Do you have any pics? I can host
(His pic shows him in a blue t-shirt gripping a respectable woody.)        
  • Hi sexy, I love older cougar type women. I have always wanted to be seduced by one.
  • Yayy I love older :) I'm 24 in TriBeCa. Home alone in a townhouse tonight. Come play!
  • I would love some intimate time with an older lady tonight. I can be very passionate. I love to rub and kiss. And I am very giving;) let me know if I spark an interest;) 
  • 22 years old (just graduated from college this December), 170 lbs, smart, kinky, horny, cuddly, clean. Looking to serve an older woman who knows what she's doing with me.  
  • Always had mrs.robinson and cougar fantasies. Would love to get to know you better and learn how to please a women.
  • I would love to meet you I am 18 brown eyes/hair, 160lbs 6'2" let me know 
  • This sounds absolutely prrrfect. I'm a white Jewish, lean muscley type, with real pictures (one of which I shot last week for a art modeling gig, attached). I'm bold and in charge, I love my body, love showing off, love exploring someone new. Love the power of bringing you to orgasm underneath my fingers, love that first tiny second when I slip inside. I'll bring a bottle of wine and some candles, when I say massage I mean the real deal- slow and sensuous, nothing hurried at all. 
  • Hi.  I'm a 19 year old student.  I'm somewhat inexperienced and would love to meet someone older and more experienced who is interested in teaching me a thing or two. 
  • I saw your ad and I was intrigued. I had to reply. I am 26, fit, professional, attached, a great cook but a bad dishwasher. I'm 5 foot 7, but strongly built and I have been told I am well hung; moderate length but thick, use magnums always. Ill be honest, I love mature women and I fuck like an animal.I eat pussy cuz I love it, not cause it's the 21st century. I am aggressive but respectful in bed I am very, very sexual and to be frank, to hear a woman come is the closest thing to heaven I have seen. I have a little experience with s and m but I am intrigued to see where this goes...lets talk.
One Russian 21yo just sent me a pic of his massive boner. You get the idea. So I took a few naughty pix of my body but not my face and sent them to a select few. The responses were very gratifying.
  • Wow, very nice ;)
  • thanks for the pic, your breasts are amazing and your body looks sexy
  • Beautiful body.
  • Oooh cute. We will have fun. So tell me what you're into? What kinks? 
  • wow, thats hot.  
  • haw haw haw hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwtttttttttttttt 
I decided on a sweet 21yo (that's right -- half my age) with beautiful skin, a pretty face, great hair, a ripped torso, and a respectable but not terrifyingly large package. We met at Starbucks and chatted about this and that, including his job as a teacher at a very exclusive private school -- a career that would be ruined by a rape scandal. So I felt safe with him.

And we had a lot of fun. Not spilling the gory details, but I was well satisfied. Every inch and orifice of me.

That was eight months ago. Shortly thereafter, my knees crapped out seriously. (At one point I wondered if that was because I spent so much time on all fours with him.) I haven't had sex since, and I feel almost revirginized.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"