Saturday, October 12, 2013

Do you REALLY need to ask that?

I've been getting a lot of attention from 20somethings on OKCupid. At least once a week, someone visits my profile and usually tries to strike up an acquaintance. This is frustrating because I'm not trying to maximize the number of men who see me naked, I'm trying to get married.

I expressed this frustration in a Facebook status update and got this question from an acquaintance (at least she emailed it to me rather than posting it as a comment):

Can I ask you a personal question? You seem like a very social person and you are involved in a lot of organizations; why are you looking for a guy online? It seems like you should have no problem meeting someone live and in person in NYC. Just an observation.

Do you REALLY need to ask that???? If I knew, I WOULDN'T STILL BE SINGLE. Obviously I'm doing SOMETHING wrong, but I don't know WHAT, and I'm frustrated as Sisyphus.

My mood has taken a definite downturn. I'm not sure if it's the cumulative effect of all the work shit that went down, or my menstrual cycle, or the continued pain, relative immobility, and uncertainty about the expensive intervention I've just embarked upon. I slept most of today, I used the light box, and yet I couldn't bring myself to take a shower this evening. Not a good sign.

I did force myself to brush my teeth, and even flossed. And I still go through my ridiculous multi-step skin care routine, which includes castor oil to re-grow overtweezed eyebrows, a lash enhancer, a light glycolic acid peel, retinol serum, and three different eye products. So I'm not giving up completely. But I feel miserable.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"


  1. 3 eye products isn't that over kill?...

    1. Maybe. I'm definitely looking for more of a multi-tasker.