Saturday, May 31, 2014

Even stupider about men than Ayelet

Not many women are stupider about men than I am, so when I met one, I had to blog about her.

Stupid Idjit Girl (SIG) is probably in her late forties/early fifties, judging by her profile pic. Two last names means she's either widowed or divorced. She and I are in a Jewish singles group on Facebook. Another woman posted in the group that a guy she'd gone on one coffee date with had texted her the next morning to suggest they watch a movie at his place that night. Uh-huh. Obviously a booty call. A number of people commented on her post, including this troglodyte.

Troglodyte: You made yourself look lose [sic.] by kissing on a first date. This is being shomer negiah and shomer yechida makes [sic.] dating less complicated (albeit less fun)

I was the first to call him out.

Ayelet: He participated in the kiss too, Troglodyte. Does that make him loose as well? Most of the people in this group have been married before, so it's naive to think they'll practice shmirat negiah.

Others followed my lead, including SIG.

SIG: On which date do you think a woman should kiss a man, Troglodyte, to not be considered loose? On what date do you wish someone would kiss you?

I liked her comment, which encouraged her to send me an email:

SIG: hi. Troglodyte makes me ANGRY!

(Obviously she used his real name, not "Troglodyte.") But seriously: one stupid comment gets you zero-to-sixty ANGRY? I thought I had a temper.

Ayelet: oh, he's just a troglodyte who can't get women, and he's bitter

SIG: what is a troglodyte? is that the reason, [sic.] he can't get laid? lol

That should have been the first indication she's not very bright.

Ayelet: "troglodyte" is like a cretin or a boor

SIG: oh ok... I don't get men...they want women to sleep w/ them YET at the same time they want to be able to call us names for doing it. IT MAKES NO RATIONAL SENSE.

Well, she's not wrong there.

A: he's angry because women don't want him, so he's blaming them publicly

SIG: oh, because no one wants him... hmm... yeah

I would have been fine if she'd stopped there, but she decided to confide in me:

SIG: I want someone I have known on AOL for 13 months..
I need to quit thinking about him
he wants too much
do you like anybody?

She's still on AOL? Strike two. And no way in hell am I telling a total stranger, male or female, if I like any boys. Are we in 6th grade?

A: what does he want that you don't want?

Hoping it's something simple so I don't have to get too involved. I figured she'd say "a commitment" or "to be shomer Shabbat" and I could throw a few platitudes at her -- be true to yourself, but don't be afraid to take a risk, something like that. I was not expecting:

SIG: to come meet me, from [another state], he will tell me his last name and fly here if I do a sex video. I have to do it on mycell phone and show him on skype

Whoa. That is very, very bad. Someone who asks you to make a sex video and stream it to them is likely to distribute it. Also: she's known him 13 months and doesn't know his last name? Is she a complete idiot?

A: ewwwwwwwwwwww
forget him NOW, that is disturbing

SIG: also, he wants to be able to handcuff me and tie me up
very upsetting

Well, under the right circumstances there's nothing wrong with that, but these are not the right circumstances.

A: I would block him and not talk to him at all.

SIG: I told him I am only accepting real love from him..and I want to go to his house and break all his dishes and slap him in the face

He is not going to give her any real love. And she totally can't see that.

A: You need to break with him completely.

She didn't respond, and I hoped she had lost all interest in chatting, as I had, because I don't like chatting with stupid people.

SIG: sorry..someone came to my door to do work out there...lucky me..they are taking all my trash out

Like I'm interested? Now I really just need to get rid of her. Unfortunately, she sent me some pictures of the sick bastard, including a selfie of his shirtless torso and boxer-brief-clad loins. Not his face, of course. Another red flag she completely didn't see.

SIG: [sick bastard's first name], sigh

Strike three. I'm out of here.

A: Just forget about him. Sorry, just got a phone call.

SIG: ok..are you on the phone now?

A: yes

If someone says they got a phone call, aren't they usually on the phone seconds later? Actually, I wasn't on the phone, but I did not want to get drawn into her loose-boundaried drama.

I know I've done stupid things while dating, but this isn't just stupid, it's potentially lethal. Obviously she's not going to listen to reason; she might not be capable of rational thought. I do not have any time for this person.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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