Saturday, May 24, 2014

Jewish Singles Thirty-five to Dead

Last week I went to a Lag b'Omer party sponsored by a group that calls itself "Jewish Singles Thirty-five to Fifties" (JSTF). I've been kicked out of their Facebook group for calling some of the administrators "dicks," although, in my defense, they really are dicks. But they throw fun parties that aren't too expensive, and when I'm not morbidly depressed I like to attend. (Apparently my money's still green to them.)

The Lag b'Omer party was typical of other JSTF parties in that many people much older than their 50s attended. Some women, but in general, men. Old men, with gray or white hair, sagging and wrinkly facial skin, stooped posture, etc. I realize I'm almost 44 and no spring chicken, but these roosters are too old and shriveled even for the cooking pot.

I'd gotten a Brazilian keratin treatment for my hair a few days prior, something I like to do to keep my hair healthy and shiny. It's a very long procedure that includes flat-ironing the product into your hair, so for about a week my hair was as straight and shiny as a shampoo commercial. I wore it down for the party, and while standing and chatting with a group of girlfriends, I felt a pair of hands descend upon my shoulders, grip them a few times with varying pressure, and then slide their fingers through my hair.

Startled, I whipped my head around and saw an elderly man behind me. Gray hair straggled around his shiny scalp. Face of a Shar Pei. "Coming through," he intoned in sepulchral tones. Yeah, right -- you're just walking behind me where there's plenty of room and had to run your fingers through my hair to get by.

The boundary violation would have been unpleasant no matter who took the liberty, but for a man my parents' age to take it is just disgusting. But I shrugged it off. I don't really go to these parties to meet men; I go because I like to dance and hang out with many of the other women who go. I could have told the administrators, but I didn't think it was worth it. Geriatric money is green to them too.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

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