Tuesday, March 24, 2015

99 problems but insurance ain't one

Something bad happened at work last week. Something really awful, painful, and humiliating. I can't describe it, and it wasn't my fault. But I should have had some supervision about it -- a debriefing, really -- and I didn't. As usual, my supervisor is too damn busy.

So I called our Employee Assistance Program, shaking, and asked for assistance. And learned that you can get three free therapy sessions to deal with an issue, assisted by the therapist of your choice. (As long as the therapist accepts the insurance. You have two sessions to decide if you think the therapist can help you.)

"Here's your authorization number," said the quiet-voiced EAP rep. "It covers the first three sessions, After that, if another issue... emerges... the therapist can call us to request reauthorization to deal with the new issue.

"It's not like you can't talk about former issues after a reauthorization," he reassured me. "But as long as there are new issues to discuss, the therapist can keep calling to request more coverage."

Essentially, as long as you've got a new issue to list, you've got at least three more sessions. It took me less than 15 minutes to come up with:
  1. Last week's horrifying event
  2. My mother and her degenerate pervert boyfriend
  3. My sister rejecting my Facebook friend requests
  4. Being overworked and overstressed to the point where I get fired from jobs
  5. Being racially harassed by the jerk who said "I think you don't like me because I'm black"
  6. Being written up for writing "ax" instead of "ask" in a progress note (I was quoting the client)
  7. Having my knees wrecked by that personal trainer and the horrific commute
  8. The constant emergence of new bipolar symptoms. Most recently? Terminal insomnia AFTER daylight savings ends. Traditionally that's when the terminal insomnia has ended.
  9. Being single, childless, and middle-aged, with no home and no family
  10. Always feeling like I'm on the verge of being fired from my job, because I have been fired from so many jobs.
  11. Losing my religious idenitty.
  12. Having burned so many bridges in this town, including at The Bad Place.
  13. Needing to learn how to supervise people to do what I want them to do
  14. Losing my father when I was young
  15. Taking almost everything much too personally
  16. My explosive, ever-ready anger
  17. My weight and dislike of dieting and exercise.
As Al Pacino said, I'm just gettin' warmed up. Any suggestions for what issues I might also need to tackle? I showed my psychiatrist the list of therapists EAP sent me. She recognized one name, and I will call -- and Google -- that person. Soon.

Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Deja vu all over the now what was I saying?

Yesterday I clicked "interested" on a gentleman's Jwed profile. He seemed attractive, nice, interesting, age-appropriate. Today I got an email from him:

Hi, We went out last year. It didn't work out. Good luck finding a match!!

I have absolutely no idea who he is or what happened on the date. No. Idea. Either I've repressed the memory or I'm entering dementia. Or, more likely, I've been dating so fucking long, almost everything is a blur, with flashes of painfully clear awful incidents.
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

She thinks a little too highly of me

Not a lot of social workers have their LCSW and CASAC. If I were fluent in Spanish, I'd be a unicorn; as it is, I still receive expressions of interest from recruiters at least twice a week. I had a fight with my supervisor and actually called one back a few weeks ago and went on an interview, but the job would have involved working with entitled adolescents, a population I doubly despise. I like working with underprivileged adults, preferably with comorbid substance abuse and psychiatric disorders. What can I say? I like a challenge that doesn't sneer, "That's so lame" or whatever the kids are saying these days..

Anyway, this morning I got another message from a recruiter:

I found your resume on [social work job site where I haven't bothered deactivating my resume]. Please reply to this email if you are interested in discussing the following job opening:

[Placement agency I've never heard of] is seeking a Regional Director of Clinical Services for a full-time permanent position located throughout NY. As director you will develop and implement clinical programming, staff training, and prepare financial plans. This position does requiring travelling to multiple locations in New York. An office may be set up in any of the boroughs or Long Island according to your convenience.


  • Master’s Degree in Social Work or related field, psychiatry, psychology, and medicine
  • Licensed Clinician in NYS
  • 10 years of leadership experience preferably in substance abuse facilities
  • Knowledge of OASAS

Please contact me if you are interested!!

Well, I have a master's in social work and I'm a licensed clinician.in NYS. I know OASAS fairly well. However, nowhere on my resume does it state that I have 10 years of leadership experience anywhere. I have about eight years of clinical experience if you include my second-year internship. Of that, three years constitute clinical supervision, and I have about 10 months of administrative supervisory experience. And my performance at my last job wasn't exactly a stellar success story.

I'm definitely not going to respond; I'm no longer mad at my supervisor, and I'm nowhere near qualified for this position. Why on earth would she contact me?
Copyright (c) "Ayelet Survivor"